


War on Ice

by Rhaized



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Azgeda, Clarke and Lexa work together, Clarke doesn't leave after season 2 finale, Clexa Endgame, Deep feelings, F/F, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Season 2 spoilers, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Working loosely with season 3 plot, costia is alive, things get complicated
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2020-03-20 11:28:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 26,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18991747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhaized/pseuds/Rhaized
Summary: Clarke didn't abandon her people after Mount Weather, but the looming threat of the Ice Nation remains imminent. Lexa's promise not to help the Sky People shattered with the fall of the mountain. Now the two groups must work together to save their people, and Lexa and Clarke must come to terms with whatever their relationship is.Elsewhere in the Ice Nation, a certain captive named Costia turns out not to have died after all. She was held a prisoner for two years, only to hear whispers of the brave, fearless commander falling for a girl who fell from the sky.ORA Clexa fic where Clarke and Lexa have to confront their feelings for one another and where Lexa must face her past.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1, in which we learn how both Clarke and Lexa feel directly after the fall of the mountain.

_ A memory. _

 

Even though Kane had warned her, Lexa didn't expect the Sky People's alcohol to be so…addicting.

 

It was sweet and harsh and unlike anything Lexa had ever tasted before. They had drinks similar to this on the ground, created from fermented berries and saved for the happiest of occasions. Lexa never partook in it much due to her role as the Commander and as a warrior before that, but today was different. The  _ Sky People  _ were different. And this  _ drink  _ was different and superior and enticing. 

 

"Slow down there, slick." Over the rim of her cup, Lexa saw blue eyes blink kindly at her. "You're going to regret that in about fifteen minutes."

 

"I'm the Commander," Lexa replied, finishing the cup with a quick swig. "I regret nothing."

 

And she didn't. In exactly fifteen minutes, Lexa felt as light as if  _ she  _ had been up in space with no gravity. Clarke was still there, her hand draped casually on the table next to them as she chatted about The Ark. She kept glancing at Lexa, too, her eyes amused at Lexa's progressing state of intoxication. Lexa couldn't help but smile at her. 

 

She was so beautiful. And it wasn't just because she came from the sky. Her jaw was strong in the way grounder jaws were considered strong, and her body slim yet flush with health. Her eyes were also kind. Those eyes--Lexa could look into them all day, she'd admit. People had blue eyes on the ground, but none like these. There was a certain quality about them that evoked both vulnerability and strength. It wasn't a combination Lexa would have thought possible until Clarke. And it was something that drew her in. 

 

Clarke's eyes met Lexa's, and a shift happened. It was palpable in the air, whatever it was that was happening. Lexa didn't look away, and Clarke blushed slightly. Lexa could see the faint pink under her pale skin. 

 

"What are you looking at?" Clarke finally laughed, addressing it head-on. 

 

"You," said Lexa simply. She didn't mean for it to be abrupt or bold, but she could tell by Clarke's facial expression that it was an unexpected response. The blonde merely grinned and then looked down and away, her face faintly flushing again as she started to play with the food in front of her. 

 

Lexa smiled the tiniest bit wider, turning to find her cup and pour another drink.

 

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

**Chapter 1**

 

"May we meet again."

 

Lexa felt Clarkes' eyes follow her well after she'd left Mount Weather's territory, the entirety of her grounder army in line behind her. It burned right between her shoulder blades--sharp and pointed. 

 

Lexa had betrayed her. That’s the only way to put it. After all she, Clarke, and their people had been through and after all the planning they’d done to open and then infiltrate that iron door, Lexa told her army to stop. Her imprisoned people slipped through the cracked door, and then it closed--without any of the Sky People. 

 

"Indra," Lexa called. Her warrior ran over to her at once. "Send scouts to monitor Arkadia. And send archers to the trees near the path from Mount Weather. Alert me as soon as they have information."

 

"Yes, Heda."

 

Lexa wasn't paying much attention to what was happening around her once they'd safely passed into their lands. The healers were taking care of the released prisoners. The guards and warriors were protecting the healers. The archers swung around them in the trees, some ahead and some behind. They stopped and set up camp to allow their rescued party to rest. As to be expected, their reunited brethren were in horrible condition--skinny, pale, dull, crippled. But at least they were alive. 

 

_ Were the Sky People still alive?  _

 

It was approximately two hours since they'd left Mount Weather. Lexa had been counting the minutes. Clarke's plan had failed--was  _ thwarted _ \--and she'd no doubt insisted to try another way into Mount Weather. Maybe she went through the reaper tunnels, or Bellamy found another way to get them in from the inside. They couldn't have opened the main door again, as there wasn't any other way to open it once the generators came back on. That would have been discussed beforehand during one of Clarke's  _ many  _ meetings to plan and prepare for the attack. 

 

Their last meeting had been a particularly long one, extending well into the early hours of the morning. Clarke needed exact details. She wanted to know how many warriors there were, where they would be stationed, how many guns Arkadia had, who would be handling them, and so forth. Lexa admired that about Clarke. She had a fierce determination to be thorough and successful. She not only cared about these details but gave each and every one careful thought. It was a strong quality, but also a weak one as nothing can ever truly go as planned.

 

Still, their plan had been set in motion. There was only one way to do it:  _ inside man, uncaged army _ . 

 

It was very late that night. Well past the time for rest. Lexa had a makeshift bed of a wooden frame, furs, and feathered pillows prepared right there next to the battle map. It was for her, of course, but also for Clarke, if she wanted it. 

 

"You should rest, Clarke," she'd told the blonde after a while, watching with a half-open eye as Clarke paced back and forth, looking down at the plans spread out across the table. She wasn't listening; she was too focused on the attack and the multitude of backup plans she’d wanted to have at their disposal in case they needed them. She’d done this every night the past few nights, her anxiety running rampant. But all for naught, since there was only one way this could work. 

 

Eventually Clarke tired herself and took up the other side of Lexa's bed. The bed was small enough so that Clarke's elbow just grazed Lexa's arm as she settled down under the furs, tucking them around herself neatly and letting out a small sigh. Her body was warm next to Lexa, who was well used to the cold loneliness of her own furs. Who knew a girl from frozen space could radiate the warmth and comfort of fire? Lexa closed her eyes and let herself grow lost in Clarke's presence, listening to her breathing slow and ebb into a steady rhythm. Lexa found herself slipping from consciousness as well, feeling strangely... _ full.  _

 

What would the mountain men do to them, once they caught them? Lexa emerged from her thoughts, sinking her body against the tree she was leaning against and closing her eyes. She imagined Clarke's blonde hair strewn across a medical table as doctors dug into her flesh. Lexa saw her legs thrashing, her nose wrinkling, her mouth screaming, her tears flowing, her blood draining… 

 

But she couldn't go back. That was part of the deal. Lexa couldn't go back and she couldn't help them. 

 

She opened her eyes. Her guards were around but not near. Warriors were focused on scanning their surroundings. Healers were tending to the wounded. Hunters were gathering food. Everything was as it should be. 

 

Everything except Clarke. 

 

It was almost dawn when they arrived at the nearest village big enough to host the grounder army. 

 

"Any word?" she demanded, turning to a passing guard. He shook his head, bowing to her and announcing no reports of any activity near the mountain or Arkadia. Lexa strode over to her tent, kicking off her boots and tossing them against the canvas wall. It was futile to try and keep track of the Sky People in addition to her own people, she realized. They weren't her responsibility. It was futile to even  _ care. _

 

But Lexa  _ did.  _ More than she'd ever admit to anyone. Wasn't there a time where Clarke's people were once her people? How many generations apart did it take for people to un-become someone's people? Didn’t that count for something?

 

As Lexa forced herself to lay down in her soft furs, her mind filled again with hair as golden as the sun, at first so beautiful and radiant but then tainted with screaming and drilling and then stillness and nothingness. 

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

The air was crisp as Clarke strode through the forest and heard something moving in the trees around her.

 

She paused, pebbles spitting at her feet on the dirt trail. Clarke was by no means a hunter, or a sentry, or a tracker. She wasn’t equipped to locate intricate details. Her senses were still sharp enough to realize someone was rustling around in the woods, though. Even if she didn’t really care much about being found and getting out alive, after what she’d done.

 

It was just about one day since Clarke decided to massacre 381 people in Mount Weather, including 26 children. Had it been a day? It felt more like a week. Or maybe even a month. An entire lifetime, actually. Clarke did it to save her own people trapped inside the facility, their bone marrow getting forcibly sucked out of them to give life to the generation trapped inside steel walls for a hundred years. She was left with no choice but to do it, to push that button and expose them all to deadly radiation. And she’d do it again if she had to.

 

But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t feel the weight of what she had done.

 

"Clarke?" 

 

It was just her mother. 

 

Sighing, Clarke turned around and saw Abby approach from behind the thicket, a stack of herbs clutched in her hands. 

 

"I'm still here, Mom."

 

"I know." Abby tried to downplay it, rambling to Clarke about the herbs she'd found and some of the medicinal properties their tests had revealed about them. But all the while, her gaze kept flickering back to Clarke, as though she'd disappear the next time she looked. 

 

Clarke  _ did _ almost run away. Right after they got back from the mountain, she considered packing up a bag, slipping out into the woods, and never coming back. She'd let others step up and lead the Sky People, making the difficult decisions Clarke found herself facing more and more frequently. She'd let others learn what it feels like to bear the burden of taking lives to save your own. 

 

But, she didn't, because she could never leave them. Not after all they'd been through to get this far. Not yet. 

 

The sun had only just gone down, and Clarke felt the early chill of night start to seep through her clothes as she and Abby headed back to camp. She’d spent that morning trudging back to Arkadia with her friends, stepping over twigs as easily as she’d pressed that damned button. And now she spent the afternoon and evening searching for medicine to heal them, after they'd been tortured and mutilated. 

 

How much more did she owe to her people? How much more of herself could she give? 

 

When they returned to the camp, the headlights bright in the dark of the sky, Clarke noticed a large crowd gathered near the base of the camp. 

 

"What's going on?" Clarke wondered aloud, finding her pace quicken in step with Abby's. Her mother didn't answer her, and as they approached the group and as people stepped aside, Clarke's stomach dropped and she felt heat rise and boil at her cheeks. 

 

Lexa was standing there in the clearing, her eyes slowly swiveling to meet Clarke's.

* * *

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2, in which Clarke is still very angry with Lexa and Lexa grows impatient with the Sky People.

* * *

_A taste._

 

As Lexa and Clarke sat down to eat dinner during one of their battle strategy sessions, Clarke's eyes widened. "What _is_ this?"

 

"Fish eggs," Lexa answered, watching the blonde's face. "In older times, I believe they called it 'caviare.' It's a delicacy."

 

"I've read about this!" Clarke exclaimed, looking at the pink pebbles closely. "This was a dish for nobles and kings because it took so much time to prepare. They have to extract the eggs from the female fish as soon as she lays them, and there's only a short period of time where the eggs are tender and flavorful." Delight radiated from Clarke's face at the words, still staring down at the bowl. "How did you get this?"

 

"You may think my people are savages, Clarke," said Lexa, moving to place a generous spread of caviare on Clarke's plate, "but we are capable of preserving and indulging in certain luxuries."

 

Clarke laughed, leaning to gently butt her shoulder into Lexa's. It was a friendly gesture. Mild in nature. It denotes familiarity and comfort. The grounders didn't do it, because physical ramming like that was a sign of violence and battle, but the Sky People did. Lexa had observed their interactions with one another during these past few weeks of working together to flush out the mountain men. They were openly affectionate with one another, their actions not prefaced by war in the way Trikru's had been conditioned. They were soft, welcoming, warm. And Lexa enjoyed experiencing it, even if only briefly.

 

"Do you like it?"

 

Clarke was hunched over her plate, having just dipped a piece of fire-baked bread into the caviare. She turned to Lexa, raised her eyebrows, and then dove back into her food, pouring even more caviare onto her dish and breaking off more pieces of bread. Lexa felt her lips itch up to form a smile.

 

"I'm glad you enjoy it," Lexa said softly. And she meant it. She continued to gaze at Clarke, who was greedily indulging in one of the few delicacies Lexa could offer her. She hadn't put any caviare on her own plate, but she didn't need to. She just wanted Clarke to enjoy it.

 

She wanted Clarke to taste what little of the good life there was on the ground.

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

 

**Chapter 2**

 

As soon as their eyes met, several things happened at once. On her end, Lexa's eyes flashed with something that resembled relief as soon as she saw Clarke. Green bore into blue with that quaint intensity Clarke had grown accustomed to with Lexa. She was at once commanding and open, happy yet sad.

 

But Clarke didn't gaze into her eyes for too long. A moment later, she'd rushed over to the Commander and placed a small, silver dagger to her throat.

 

"Clarke!" Abby yelled, but Clarke ignored her. She pressed the blade ever so slightly to Lexa's flesh. To her surprise, blood as black as the night started to bead at the place where the knife tore into Lexa's flesh.

 

How can that be, Clarke vaguely wondered, watching the black beads thicken to a solid strand. How can anyone's blood bleed anything other than red?

 

But it didn't matter. This was about Lexa. This was about her betrayal. That was about _blood_ having _blood,_ no matter what color it was. This was about revenge.

 

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't slit your throat," Clarke whispered, her breath hot against Lexa's face. Her eyes flicked from the now dripping blood to Lexa's eyes. "One good reason."

 

Lexa merely stared back calmly at her, unblinking and unalarmed. "You have every right to kill me, Clarke. I betrayed you and stranded your people."

 

 _Goddamnit_ ! Clarke bristled. From the moment they'd first met, Lexa had operated with that cool, calm, and collected consistency you only ever read about in books. _No one_ could be that controlled all of the time, but somehow, Lexa was. She'd stared at a giant gorilla hunting her and merely whipped out her sword, assuring Clarke that death is not the end. She'd watched a missile strike and destroy one of her villages with not even the faintest trace of a reaction on her face. Right now she gazed intently into Clarke's eyes with a knife placed at her throat while deep in enemy territory.

 

"So you want me to do it?" Clarke challenged, pressing the knife harder. More black blood spilled, but Lexa's gaze kept hers locked into place, unmoving and unreadable.

 

"That is quite enough."

 

Before she could stop it, Clarke was pushed aside-- _hard._ Kane had elbowed her in the ribs and knocked the breath out of her. On her way down to the floor, Clarke looked over at Lexa. Her eyes had flashed, but not with the anger Clarke had wanted. They flashed with _concern._ For _Clarke._

 

That look made Clarke's veins pulse and her lip snarl.

 

"Commander," said Kane evenly, stepping in front of Clarke and blocking her view of the grounder. His voice was cold yet in control. "You said you had important information for us?"

 

"Yes," said Lexa, catching her breath slightly. 

 

"And that you've come here alone, without any of your army."

 

"Yes."

 

"That's unfortunate for you, then," Clarke sneered. The tension in the air tightened as Clarke pushed herself up, stepping around Kane. He didn't try and stop her. A crowd was beginning to form now, since they were standing right in the middle of the courtyard, but Clarke didn't care. She  _wanted_ them to see.

 

"Clarke." It was Lexa this time who interjected, her voice light and still. "I have admitted to you already that I betrayed you and stranded your people."

 

"Admitted to me?" Clarke repeated, stepping closer and ignoring the soft tug Kane now attempted at her arm. Her eyes gazed into Lexa's again. She once sought comfort in those eyes, but at the moment, all she wanted to do was inflict pain into them. "You don't have to admit it to me, _Heda._ I was there. I know you abandoned us. And nothing you can say or do will ever make me or my people forgive you."

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

The Skaikru camp was not what Lexa expected it to be.

 

She'd been to the place they call the "drop ship" once, when Clarke led her there under the guise of turning Lincoln back into a man. The drop ship's walls were stiff and dented like metal that fell from the sky would be, but Arkadia felt more polished. It felt _permanent_ and developed.

 

The interior of Arkadia was obviously worn but repaired and well-taken care of, much like some other places on the ground. The Sky People had wiped down the steel until it shined, and furs now lined the floor where Lexa and the guard stood. They were in a small waiting room of sorts. Kane had instructed her to stay and make herself comfortable while he gathered his council. Although the furs were certainly a nice touch, Lexa didn't find the steel box to bring much comfort. She didn't think anything in this camp would, given her initial welcome. Given _Clarke’s_ welcome.

 

Did she really meant what she had said? That she nor anyone in Skaikru would ever forgive her? Lexa had come all this way, and she still felt that she had so far to go.

 

"Thank you for waiting, Commander."

 

Kane was back with a small group of people. Five, to be exact. Three men and two women. They were older and sage-looking, much like the elders of the various Trikru villages. And they weren't happy to see her.

 

"What do you want?" the one furthest to the left spat, actual spit falling out of his mouth as he glowered at her. He was older and gruff, with a ragged beard and sagging skin. "Shouldn't you be with your own people plotting to kill us all?"

 

"Felix, stop it," the woman next to him scolded, moving her arm to nudge him firmly in the ribs. She turned to look at Lexa now, her eyes wary yet kind. "Our apologies, Commander. Some of these old geezers have forgotten their tact up in space."

 

The Sky People were so interesting. Lexa couldn't help but think that. Her own people hailed from a ritualistic culture where outbursts such as that were subject to harsh penalties. Everyone had a place and stayed in their place, with those pushing swiftly removed. But with the Sky People, no such dedication to place and status seemed to exist. There was a hierarchy, of course, but even that was flexible. Take Clarke for instance--the grounder-determined leader of Skaikru who was in all actuality the criminal daughter of a woman on the council. The official leaders accepted Clarke's challenge, though, allowing her to release prisoners and take charge and strategize with Lexa about their most recent battle.

 

That would simply never happen in Trikru. Lexa would kill anyone who dared try to lead with, for, or against her.

 

Although she found these Sky People interesting, Lexa was starting to lose patience with them. She respected the elderly. Revered them, even, as she'd done her own grandmother who passed down such integral wisdom to her. But this old man did not seem to understand who she was and how her customs demanded respect. And he didn't seem to quite grasp how easily she could tear off his head from his torso without even using a weapon.

 

"My father was born on the ground," Felix continued, taking a step closer. In the dim light, Lexa could see the hatred pour from his light brown eyes. "He was a Sergeant in The United States military, stationed in Washington DC, what you people have foolishly call _TonDC._ This is _his_ land. _My_ land."

 

" _Enough."_ Everyone was surprised to hear Lexa's soft growl. She raised her head, meeting the old man's glower. "I am not here for you to insult my culture and my people. And I am not here to listen to you to seize rights to land that ceased to be yours the moment the world was set afire and your family escaped into space. There are but three types of people now: sky, mountain, and ground. And since Clarke completely obliterated the mountain men, it's just us now. But we are not the _only_ people on the ground, which is why we need to talk and why _you_ need to listen."

 

That did the trick. It shut the old man up. It made everyone tilt their heads with concern. Sighing, Lexa looked back at Kane and began to tell him everything she knew about the Ice Nation and why it mattered to each and every one of them.

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

Several hundred miles north, Queen Nia dug her knife straight into the heart of a piece of steak. Its juices splattered all across the table. She stared at it unflinchingly, her steely blue gaze trained on the incision point.

 

"Get me a towel," she snapped at the woman standing obediently in the corner. She was tall and thin, with striking green eyes and a long scar crookedly drawn from the center of her nose to the bottom of her left earlobe. She had the air of having once been beautiful but recently tainted.

 

"Sha, my Queen," she answered, her voice low as she approached the table and held out a thin piece of cloth. Nia snatched it from her, moving to carefully wipe down the bend of the blade as she pulled it out of the meat, her eyes never leaving its surface.

 

"It seems like you'll be reunited with your lover sooner than you thought," Nia sneered. The woman stiffened but remained silent. "They're having a summit near the intruder's camp. Did you know that Leksa com Trikru traveled all the way there on her own days ago, to visit the Sky People?" Her eyes flashed. "To visit a certain _blonde_ named Clarke?"

 

At that the woman _did_ react. Her face frowned ever so slightly. Nia laughed and then returned to eating her steak, digging the knife into it as hard as she could every single time she cut off a bite.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Thoughts, comments, suggestions, etc. are welcome :) Next chapter coming soon! Have a great day.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3, in which we learn what's really at stake.

_A regret_ **_._ **

 

"I could have warned them," Clarke whispered. Her voice was low and unsteady. Lexa could practically _feel_ the pain seeping from Clarke's words.

 

It was the evening after the mountain men's missile struck TonDC, burning down most of the village. Clarke and Lexa were camped on the very outskirts of the woods. They heard screams and moans filter in from the distance. The light had long faded from the sky, but they could still see the smoke rising high up above them. It wasn't safe to return to the village, though. And Lexa was starting to wonder if Clarke was even ready to go back tonight at all.

 

Looking over at the blonde, Lexa saw her eyes shine with the beginning of tears. She'd said that over and over the last several hours: _I could have warned them._ She'd hesitated when fleeing the village, turning back to retrieve her mother and then almost returning to take care of the wounded. Clarke was deeply conflicted, Lexa knew. The necessity of their act had set in, but so did the regret. Because of her heart.

 

"You could have," Lexa began, but Clarke interrupted her.

 

"You don't get it!" The tears broke through, and Clarke turned to glare at Lexa. "I know it was the right decision. I don't regret the decision. But, I…" She broke off just then, looking away.

 

Lexa felt a softness consume her. It was something she didn't experience often, for the position of Commander required the grit and strength of steel. Love is weakness, after all. But there was something about this moment sitting here with Clarke. The girl struggled with her convictions and their shared plight of being at war. She led with her head without sacrificing the core of her heart. There was something special about her. And Lexa sympathized in a way she never had before.

 

As Clarke let out a quiet sob, Lexa did something unexpected: she reached out to her, placing her hand on her companion's shoulder. "I understand," she said simply. And she did. Clarke continued to sob, and Lexa tightened her grip, moving her hand to the small of Clarke's back. They were closer now. Lexa could feel her body shake with her grief and her guilt. She shifted even closer so that she was half-holding Clarke, her eyes locked on the fire in front of them.

 

"I want the mountain men dead," Clarke finally offered. Lexa still had her arm around her, but if Clarke minded, she didn't indicate it. "I know I keep saying that, Lexa, and I know that earlier kill didn't satisfy me. But…there are some mountain men who just need to _die._ "

 

"Okay." Clarke turned to look at her, blue eyes meeting green. Lexa let go at that point, but she remained close. Their shoulders still brushed. "We'll do everything we can, Clarke. I promise."

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

**Chapter 3**

 

"You can't be serious, Mom," Clarke snapped, following her mother into the medical wing as they returned from a meeting with the council.

 

It'd been a long few days. Lexa had waltzed into their camp entirely unannounced and unwanted. Nobody knew what to do. She just strode right in, the guards said, demanding to speak to Clarke, Abby, and Kane. Clarke had wondered if she'd ever see Lexa again after she betrayed them at the mountain, and evidently she had. Barely a day later. _What a pair of_ **_balls_ ** _she's got._

 

"Clarke, drop it."

 

"You can't listen to her or let her stay here!" Clarke grabbed her mother's shoulders and spun her around, glaring into her eyes. "Not after all she's done!"

 

It was easy for Clarke to hate Lexa. Logical, really. If she hadn't made a deal with the mountain men behind their back and _abandoned_ them there at the door, Clarke wouldn't have had to do it. She wouldn't have had to storm the property. She wouldn't have had to murder over 300 people with the touch of a button. She wouldn't have to deal with the consequences of those actions for the rest of her life.

 

When it came down to it, Clarke _had_ to blame and hate Lexa for what happened.

Otherwise she'd have to blame and hate _herself_.

 

"She is the leader of an army who still very much outnumbers us," Abby continued, wiggling out of Clarke's grip and placing her herbs in a storage bin. "Kane is right. We have to see what she wants and then figure out where to go from there."

 

Of course that was the right thing to do. Clarke understood that. And she really wasn't one to talk. She'd barged into Lexa's camp unannounced more times than she can count doing the same exact thing: demanding to speak to the leader. She did it for what she thought were important reasons, too. She understood that, but it didn’t mean she had to like Lexa popping in whenever she pleased.

 

"I don't care what she wants,” Clarke mumbled, kicking the side of a nearby table. At Abby's questioning stare, Clarke shook her head quickly, remembering her mother did not know the grounder culture as well as Clarke did. And, Clarke realized, her mother had no idea what had happened between her and Lexa in that tent, and what had happened between them over the past several weeks. _Clarke_ hardly had any idea what had happened, and what she felt, and what it all meant, and what Lexa even wanted from her.

 

"Never mind,” Clarke eventually sighed, turning away. “I'll save it for someone who will actually listen to me."

 

* * *

 o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

Clarke didn't want to talk to Lexa, but there came a point where she had to during a meeting. It'd been several days since she arrived at the camp. The council confirmed Lexa's information on threats from the grounders beyond what Lexa could control. Contrary to what many might believe, Lexa did not rule everything and everyone. While she headed a coalition of twelve clans in the area, the Ice Nation--Azgada--in the north seemed to follow its own rules.

 

They were a ruthless bunch, conquered and controlled by Queen Nia of the North. The smaller villages learned very quickly after the bombs that they needed to join forces in order to survive, but when she came into power, Nia wanted more and more villages to fall under her command. She was horrible. Savage. Wicked. Merciless. Clarke learned that it was she who cut off the head of Lexa's lover and sent it back to Lexa as a ruse, knowing very well the effect it would have on the Commander. But Lexa still allowed her to join their coalition. She did what was right for her people--for _all_ people--and held her head high the entire time. As Lexa shared that, her voice low yet strong, Clarke finally understood what Lexa meant when she said love was weakness and caring about others only put them in danger.

 

She understood, but she didn't necessarily care. Some would say it was probably karma catching up with her.

 

It all seemed to be for naught, though, since Queen Nia recently moved her troops closer to the border with Trikru among whispers of a siege after the fall of the mountain. The mountain was the key to it all, Clarke had learned. The twelve clans formed their alliance to combat the threats of the mountain men and their technology. Individually they had no chance; together they could actually survive and fight back.

 

Until Clarke killed all the mountain men and the threat, of course.

 

At the moment they were awaiting representatives from the rest of the clans to respond to the escalating situation with the Ice Nation. Lexa sent word back to her people to gather the councilmen together nearby, just outside Arkadia. They were to first agree on a treaty between Skaikru and the twelve clans before they discussed their next move. And they were to do it there, recognizing Skaikru as having property of their own. Lexa very much wanted peace among their people, she insisted, despite what her actions at the mountain might indicate instead. But Clarke didn't want to get into that again.

 

As everyone left and went their separate ways (with Kane and the council retreating to their own private meeting), it eventually emptied out to just Lexa and Clarke in the meeting room. Lexa was looking at Clarke without really looking at her. She was facing her, and her eyes were in her general direction, but she wasn't _staring_ in the way she normally stared. Clarke noticed that Lexa had been avoiding her the past few days…not that she was complaining.

 

"Do you, uh, know your way back to your room?" Clarke finally asked, breaking the silence. She knew that Lexa had moved rooms a couple times, due to threats from some less-than-content parents of the children Lexa had left to die at Mount Weather.

 

"No," said Lexa quietly. "They told me I'd be staying in the 'unity room' next, but I don't know where it is."

 

"Oh."

 

Clarke didn't know either, to be honest. Her mother and the others had made plenty of changes while she was away with the grounders, but she still knew the building better than Lexa did. Clarke nodded and then led the way out of the room. It was strange, because Lexa wasn't a prisoner yet wasn't trusted by anyone in the entire camp. As they walked to the lodging quadrant of the building, people paused in the hallway, casting dirty looks at the Commander as she strode by. It made Clarke both uncomfortable and satisfied.

 

"Do you know where we are going, Clarke?"

 

It was a simple question, but Clarke hesitated, biting her lip.

 

"Actually, I…don't." Clarke grinned, looking over at Lexa. It was a ridiculous situation, lost in one's own camp. The brunette gazed back at her with amusement tucked in her green eyes, but then she dipped her head and looked in front of her.

 

When they finally reached the end of the hall, Clarke regained her bearings and then gestured toward to the left hand side. "Here you are. The unity room." _There's also a series of locks,_ Clarke thought in her head, surveying the door and thinking back to how many hostile stares Lexa had gotten and how she didn't have any guards with her this entire time.

 

Lexa nodded, about to enter the room, but Clarke stopped her. She reached out her hand and touched her arm. Lexa froze at the contact, slowly looking down at Clarke's hand before turning to look at her face.

 

"Why are you really here, Lexa?" Clarke asked, pulling her hand away.

 

She really wondered. What would make the Commander herself travel all alone to the heart of enemy territory? Especially an enemy she had just betrayed? The guards could have killed her on sight. No one had ordered it, but it would have been in their right. Yet Lexa came anyway--unarmed and unopposed. All in the name of peace. Why? And why _now_ , after she'd thwarted whatever peace they'd previously established between their two people?

 

Clarke was still angry at the brunette for leaving her there at Mount Weather, she'd admit. It happened so soon ago and the reveal was so raw and fresh, like ripping a badge off a festering wound. And she didn't know if it'd ever go away. Part of Clarke still wanted to kill Lexa for what she'd done. She broke a promise and unraveled weeks of careful and calculated planning. But Lexa's presence at Arkadia meant something, _proved_ something. And Clarke wanted to know what.

 

Lexa searched Clarke's eyes for a moment before blinking and nodding curtly. "To discuss the looming threat of the Ice Nation, as we covered during our meeting."

 

"Is that…all?"

 

Clarke don't know what made her say it. Especially like _that._ Lexa seemed surprised, too. A hint of feeling entered her stoic gaze before she nodded yet again. "Yes. Good night, Clarke. Thank you for your hospitality."

* * *

 

 **Author's note:** Thanks so much for reading!

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4, in which Clarke is suspicious and Lexa is determined.

_An observation._

 

Clarke was still excited by the night's sky. Lexa noticed how often she'd look up at it whenever she was outside at night. It was casual, usually, like one would run a hand through their hair or brush over an itch on their arm. And it was always the same expression on her face: enchantment.

 

They were outside and camped for the night on their way to the battle at Mount Weather. For whatever reason, Lexa and Clarke were laying outside in an empty clearing, staring up at the stars. Their warriors were nearby, patrolling and guarding, but they just lay there.

 

"We call that one Sheidheda," said Lexa after a while, moving to point toward a constellation of stars that cut off abruptly.

 

"Sheidheda," Clarke repeated slowly. "That means… Dark Commander?"

 

"Yes," Lexa replied, impressed at how quickly Clarke had picked up their language. "Very good."

 

"Who's the Dark Commander?"

 

"We don't speak of him," said Lexa. But she knew without even looking at her that Clarke required more information. "He's known as the corrupt commander. An evil man. He only had one eye."

 

"One eye _after_ he became Commander?"

 

Clarke grinned as she asked it, because she didn't know any better. She didn't grow up hearing the stories. She didn't live in the shadows of what Sheidheda had done. She didn't see him in her dreams and combat the vile influence he sought to instill on her leadership.

 

"Do you have names for the stars, Clarke?"

 

"Only the ones we could see from the Ark." Lexa turned her head to see Clarke squinting up at the night sky. "But everything looks different down here…"

 

It was silent for a few moments. Clarke continued to scan the sky, and Lexa continued to scan Clarke, taking in her rapt focus and attention as she searched for swirls and patterns that seemed familiar to her.

 

"There!" Clarke finally exclaimed, pointing to their left. "That one is called the Lynx, for the sharp eyes it takes to see it."

 

Lexa followed where Clarke was pointing but didn't see anything.

 

"Really?" Clarke asked. Lexa saw the mischief glinting in her blue depths. "My, my, a detail _I_ can see that the Commander _can't_."

 

Lexa snorted, and then Clarke took Lexa's hand and lifted it up into the air, pointing to the spot where the constellation sparkled. Clarke's hand was soft and smooth. Lexa allowed her to move it further to their left, which required Clarke to stretch and lean closer to her.

 

"Do you see it?" Clarke asked, her lips close to Lexa's ear. "Right there. Next to the extra bright one. It looks like a leaping lion."

 

"I have never seen a lion."

 

"Neither have I." Clarke laughed, and her breath tickled the side of Lexa's face. She was very close now. "But do you see it, the zig zag of lights there under the ursa major?"

 

Lexa did. She saw a collection of lines in the shape of what could be construed as a jumping animal. And she smiled as she nodded, and as Clarke's hand lingered on hers, and how neither of them moved away from each other.

* * *

 o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

  **Chapter 4**

 

Lexa had problems sleeping at Camp Jaha. The Arkers' bedding wasn't what she was used to. The frame was steel, the mattress soft, and the sheets too thick. That alone didn't bother her as much as the foreign-ness of it all. It felt _cold._ Wrong. She also couldn't hear the sounds of night all around her like she did while traveling or while staying in one of the villages. She'd grown accustomed to that and found that she missed it.

 

What was she doing there, she asked herself? Just as much as Clarke wondered, Lexa wondered, too. She hadn't initially wanted to make a personal appearance. She’d been trying very hard not to, as she sat in her tent waiting for news of Clarke and her people's fate. Lexa’s inherent sense of duty and the call to lead her people told her that checking in with the Sky People would be a horrible idea and something she shouldn't even think to entertain. But, still, something in her told her to do it anyway. Something she couldn't quite explain. After hearing how Clarke brought down the entire mountain, she thought of Clarke and her nature--fierce, yet just, and merciful. And she worried about her.

 

And she worried about the Ice Nation, of course, and how the one force keeping them at bay was now gone forever. But she did worry about Clarke, too. Probably more than she should.

 

“Heda,” Indra had greeted, startled, as the Commander strode over to the village entrance with her winter furs, horse, and sack of supplies at the ready.

 

“I’m leaving for a few days,” Lexa had declared, not pausing as she placed her foot in the stirrup and hauled herself up onto the smooth, leather saddle. Her warrior continued to gaze at her, bewilderment frosting her eyes, but Lexa ignored it. “If anyone asks, I’m on a private mission and will be back soon. You all can suffice without me for a while now that the threat of the mountain is gone. I will send word.”

 

And then there she was--laying wide awake in the cold, wide bed the Sky People have prepared for her, wishing she could be anywhere else.

 

 _Where was Clarke?_ Lexa blushed at the thought. She shouldn't wonder where Clarke slept or where she was or what she was doing. It wasn't her business, nor her place. But, she still wondered, like she wondered what in the world she was doing there, and how everything would turn out when the entire ground was at war with one another.

 

On the morning of her sixth day in the Sky camp, there was a soft knock on her door. Lexa's eyes snapped open and she jumped up to answer it at once, still fully clothed from the day before.

 

"Hello, Lexa." It was Abby, and Lexa felt a slight sense of disappointment pierce her. "I'm here to show you to the kitchens. Unless you'd like to wash up first, of course."

 

It was strange, being carted around by one of the Sky People's leaders like this. It had become the norm since the Sky People made it quite clear to Lexa that she wasn't exactly a guest, or a prisoner. Lexa would respect their rules and not ask too many questions of them. She accepted the food that was given to her, spoke only when spoken to, and abided by whatever customs and expectations were presented to her. Lexa would do everything she could to be the perfect guest, because she needed their peace. The entire _ground_ needed their peace.

 

She saw Clarke on their way to another meeting. She was carrying a pile of bandages when her eyes caught Lexa's. Clarke looked her up and down quickly (or was Lexa imagining it?) before she nodded curtly and then passed by them without a word.

 

 _That was better,_ Lexa thought, settling down at the table with Abby, Kane, and the rest of the Council. At least Clarke didn't pull a knife out of her pocket like the first day she arrived, or avoided her gaze completely during the first few meetings. She was proving to be mature about the situation. The mountain must have aged her in that way.

 

The summit was only one day away. Representatives from each clan were en route, along with Lexa’s guard and trusted advisors from TonDC and other villages The real planning could begin soon. It was a marvel they'd made it this far and that the council took Lexa as seriously as they had. There was a very real possibility that they would have killed her as soon as she showed her face. But they didn't; they decided to listen to her. And Lexa would honor that choice and help them see how wise of a choice it truly was.

 

Because if they didn’t work together now, the Ice Nation would destroy them all, _especially_ Clarke.

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

"Clarke!"

 

Someone tapped Clarke on the shoulder as she rounded the corner of a hallway and she tensed and reached for her knife. It was an instinct for her now since she’s been on the ground--react, protect, fight. It was her first impulse. It was the way she _survived._

 

"What the hell, Bellamy?" she sighed, relaxing her shoulders as she realized who it was. He was standing close to her and did not flinch as she’d lunged for her weapon. "Don't _do_ that."

 

"I need to talk to you."

 

"About what?"

 

"Lexa."

 

Bellamy's brown eyes were hard. Clarke recognized the distrust that radiated from them. He'd expressed these fears to her before. About Lexa herself, actually. He didn’t trust the grounders or anything they said they wanted, after they’d burned Finn and then abandoned them back at the mountain. Clarke didn’t blame Bellamy for these thoughts and these cautions, but sometimes she disagreed with them.

 

"I don't trust her either, Bellamy." They were in the corner of one of the labs, unnoticed by any of the busy workers. "But, something tells me that this time is different." Lexa's behavior had been off. Clarke wouldn't pretend to be an expert on all things Lexa, but she was so... _mild._ Meek. Obedient. That wasn’t the Lexa she knew.

 

Maybe she’d had a change of heart after the mountain, feeling guilty about what she’d done and realizing after Clarke took it down that other options were possible. That still didn’t explain her demeanor, though--unquestioning, unassuming, unbothered by things. What was she doing, and why was she acting that way?

 

A lab worker neared them just then, fumbling around for supplies in a cabinet, and Clarke lowered her voice. “I’m on to her, Bellamy. Something is up. And we’ll figure it out.”

 

His gaze held hers for a few seconds before he nodded, frowning. “I’ll hold you to that, Clarke. Because we know from experience that she will _always_ put her people first. And _we_ have to put _ours_ first now.”

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

Costia didn’t want for it to be this way. But it was.

 

The wind howled and Costia’s bones shook with the cold as she sat in her brick cell at the Ice Nation’s headquarters. She wasn’t a hardened soldier like Lexa. She wasn’t taught from a young age to ignore discomfort, to set aside emotions, to fight against her desires; to put everything and everyone before her own feelings and comfort. It was harder for her. And, if she were being honest with herself, it seemed damn near impossible. She was but a girl born at the sea, stuck there in the north.

 

But she would try. Gritting her teeth and shaking her head, Costia swore to Lexa and to all the Commanders before her that she would die trying to escape from the Ice Nation who staged her death and held her captive for the past two years. To do so, all she had to do was follow the Queen’s plans and help her get what she wanted: the power of Wanheda.

* * *

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5, in which we learn more about Costia and gain more questions about the Ice Nation and their schemes.

_ A curiosity. _

 

It was easy being with Clarke. Lexa didn't even have to speak. She and Clarke sat side-by-side in Lexa's tent, Clarke reading a book left from the old world and Lexa meditating. Well, Lexa was  _ trying  _ to meditate, but with Clarke's close proximity, that was harder than usual to do.

 

"I can't believe these artifacts survived all these years," Clarke remarked after a few minutes. Lexa opened an eye and gazed at her. She was reading a book about something called "brie cheese," which Lexa had never eaten but which seemed to have been a luxury item in older times. 

 

"They're not much use, if no one here can actually act from them."

 

"Does something have to be acted upon for it to be useful?" Clarke's tone was curious, not challenging. Lexa noticed that she did this a lot: wonder aloud in her soft, insightful way. Sometimes she'd issue a direct challenge, of course (like when she'd demanded Lexa let Finn go to show her people how merciful of leader she could be), but other times she was gentle. 

 

"I'd say so." Lexa uncrossed her legs and shifted her knees up to her chest, focusing fully on Clarke now. "In our ways, an action must always have an intent. Empty actions take up precious energy."

 

"Haven't you ever done something just for the sake of doing it?" Clarke shifted to face Lexa, too. 

 

"Like what?" 

 

"I don't know. Sing because you're happy?" 

 

"We sing during rituals and festivals."

 

Clarke's eyes widened. "And that's it?" 

 

Lexa returned the stare. "Yes. On which occasions do  _ you _ sing, Clarke?" 

 

And then Clarke was singing--her raspy voice stringing together soft, sweet melodies of the sky and the stars. A nursery rhyme from on the Ark. And then she was singing--almost speaking, actually--quite rapidly, her words chiming together in rhyme and rhythm. And then her tone softened again and she was crooning a low melody. 

 

"What is this?" Lexa almost whispered, her eyes locked with Clarke's. 

 

"It's a love song." Clarke paused her strum to give Lexa another look of awe. "You really don't ever sing like this, do you?" 

 

"No." Lexa broke the contact and looked at the other end of the room, thinking about the words that'd tumbled smoothly from Clarke's mouth about lovers and touch and dreams. 

 

What would a song about Clarke sound like, if Lexa sang one about her?

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

 

**Chapter 5**

 

It was bright when Costia stepped out of the prison cell. She had to shield her eyes as she emerged, having spent twelve full days in captivity for bumping into an Azgeda council member in the street when he was having a particularly merciless morning. 

 

It was chilly outside. Costa was wearing nothing but a thin shawl over her shoulders. She was naked from the neck down, as was Nia's way of making even the release from prison ache and linger. People scoffed as Costia walked by, for her walk proved she had done something worthy of her imprisonment and people of the Ice Nation were quick to sneer and ridicule. She headed east toward the small hut on the side of the village that she shared with a few other girls. 

 

When Costia entered her homestead, her housemates flocked over to her, covering her with a threadbare blanket and leading her over to one of the beds. "Oh, Costia," one of them murmured, moving to sit down next to her and smooth down her hair as another brought her over a large cup of water. "What did they do to you? The usual?" 

 

Torture was commonplace in Azgeda. Nobody was immune, except for maybe the Queen herself. People were punished with torture for lots of things. There were the major things, like deserting during battle, fraternizing with the enemy, and spying on the Ice Nation. But there also smaller things, too: if they missed a shot while hunting, over-cooked a rabbit for the Queen's dinner, crafted a sword too dull for the army. The list goes on and on and depends on the particular mood of the people in charge. Someone in the camp tried making a list once, but was caught and then tortured himself. 

 

Costia was exceptionally unlucky in this department because the Queen had taken a special interest in her. At first she was interested for the secrets she thought Costia could share about Lexa, but when she learned the girl knew nothing important, Costia was discarded as a useless hostage. Most people would die in that situation, which Nia made Lexa believe happened. But for whatever reason, Nia chose to keep Costia around, perhaps hoping she'd one day tell her something useful. Most of the time Costia just fumbled around town or in Nia's court doing whatever task had to be done, and sometimes doing it poorly enough to be locked in the prison caves. 

 

But Costia was still able to make a life for herself. Her housemates continued fussing over her, cleaning her wounded body and fluffing up her bed. They were kind. They were captured from other clans and kept mostly because of their youth and child-rearing age. They'd given birth to a couple babies between the three of them, and it was a fate Costia never hoped to endure. Yet nevertheless they were kind, bonded together by the circumstances of their clans and the goodness still left in their hearts. 

 

This wasn't much of a life, but it was better than death. And for that Costia was grateful, as she's come to truly value keeping her life.

 

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

 

The Ark guards barged into the room with their guns before Lexa could even get up from her bed. “We have to go,” one of them shouted. “ _ Now. _ ”

 

“What’s going on?”

 

They didn’t answer her; they simply went over to her and nudged her toward the door. Lexa grabbed her clothes and her bag from the chair by the side of the bed and followed them outside, feeling exposed in her just her undershirt and thin pair of shorts. But she would do as she was told. She  _ had  _ to.

 

Where were they going, Lexa wondered? After hastily throwing on her clothes, she followed Kane and the rest of the council to a chamber room deeper within the building, laden with dim lighting and hard, metal chairs. There were also a few paintings displayed (where did they get them, she wondered?) as well as a large monitor.

 

"What's going on?" Clarke blasted into the room just then, her hair a frizzy mess of blonde curls. She was still in her pajamas--a flowy red t-shirt with short gray pants. And she looked angry, yet concerned. As she was prone to mix together. 

 

Her eyes caught Lexa's, and Lexa merely gazed back. "I don't know. They dragged me in here just now."

 

More people filed in behind them (including Abby, Raven, Bellamy, Monty, and some others Lexa didn't recognize) and then Kane raised his hands to quiet the chatter.

 

"It's the Ice Nation," he simply said, his eyes lingering on Lexa as he surveyed the room. "They've invaded and are on their way to the summit."

 

The room grew quiet. Everyone shifted their gazes from Kane to Lexa, and Lexa felt her brain go into overdrive. 

 

Why would Azgeda  _ do _ that? It didn't make any sense. The mountain had fallen, to be sure, but their alliance remained. Each leader of the twelve clans took Lexa's mark on their arms. They were bound by flesh. And attacking the other leaders during a summit was poor taste, even for Nia. They must be up to something  _ else.  _ If only Lexa had her trusted advisors, like Titus, and Mantis, and Stravo...

 

"Where are they?" Clarke demanded, stepping to the front of the group. Her blue eyes were fire. "How can we stop them?" 

 

"Maybe  _ she  _ can tell us," someone from the back shouted. "Why is it they choose to invade  _ now  _ after she's gathered all these people here for a summit?" 

 

Lexa didn't say anything as people began to mutter all around her. Clarke was standing only a few feet away, and her eyes linked with Lexa's. Lexa saw suspicion there. Nothing but cold, hard suspicion. But beneath that, Lexa could swear she saw a pickle of doubt.  _ But who was she doubting? Her people, or Lexa?  _

 

"Lexa," said Kane sharply. "What do you know about this?" 

 

"Nothing." Lexa raised her head to meet his gaze. She wasn’t intimidated by the Sky people’s accusations. She was well used to them by now. "I told you everything I knew. This is uncharacteristically aggressive of them."

 

It really was, but Lexa knew enough about the Ice Nation not to be shocked. They'd never done anything quite this bold, but they were prone to make moves on impulse and not heed traditional customs. There was Costia’s abduction, of course, where they broke all customs and tact and expectancy, but this was different. This wasn’t trying to sabotage Lexa personally; this was trying to bring destruction upon all the clans and all their people. 

 

Lexa knew the Sky People didn’t trust her. As she answered their questions and assured them of her commitment to their peace treaty, she knew she had a long road ahead of her. They were to swiftly assemble with the other clan leaders, but after that, the Sky People would make their own decisions. Lexa could only hope their decisions would all lead to warding off the Ice Nation.

* * *

 

Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6, in which everyone underestimates Lexa.

_An upgrade._

 

Lexa never understood how Clarke could walk and fight without any armor other than the back of her jacket. She'd noticed that as she and the Sky People spent more and more time together. It bothered Lexa, for Clarke left so much of her body exposed to external threats. While that may not have been an issue in the sky, it certainly was on the ground, where no move is left unconsidered.

 

"I have something for you," she'd told Clarke one evening, walking over to her as she stood by the campfire with her mother and some other people. Clarke turned around to look at her while the others narrowed their eyes.

 

"What is it?"

 

"Come with me." As Lexa nodded toward her tent and Clarke started forward, Bellamy put his hand on Clarke's arm to stop her. He glared at Lexa before bending down to whisper something in Clarke's ear.

 

"It's fine," Lexa heard Clarke mutter before whispering something else to him, her arm slipping out of his grasp and gently brushing his hand.

 

 _What was that?_ Lexa wondered, leading the way when Clarke finally walked forward. That touch, the whispers, the protective impulse. The ease between them. The familiarity. Were Clarke and Bellamy…together? So soon after Finn?

 

Lexa shook the thoughts away as they approached her tent. Petty matters between individuals should not be one of her concerns. And she needn't occupy herself with monitoring the people Clarke spends time with. It's none of Lexa's business. She nodded at her guard, opened the tent fold, and allowed Clarke to step inside. As she passed, Lexa caught the faint scent of roses and blossoms from Clarke's hair, which looked to be freshly washed.

 

"I'm still waiting for whatever this is," said Clarke, her eyes twinkling at Lexa as the brunette entered the tent. Lexa felt her lips itch up to smile but then held it back before gesturing to the armor plate at the center of the table.

 

"For you," Lexa explained. Clarke's gaze swiveled to the armor and widened. "I've seen the armor you and your people wear. It is no match to the threat of the mountain and other dangers. You all need something more substantive."

 

Clarke picked up the armored vest and ran her hands over it. "Is this…"

 

"Leather with metal, yes." For whatever reason, it satisfied Lexa to see Clarke in awe of the gear in front of her. She watched the blonde examine its contents carefully, her fingers tracing every thread and smoothing over ever fold.

 

It was a simple piece of armor, really. Lexa pulled it from one of her extra supplies, along with a few more for the other warriors. A merchant back in the capital of Polis had made this group of armor, promising Lexa it would allow the wearer to remain agile while gaining resilience to arrows and other snags. It wasn't special, but it was practical. And much better than what Clarke and her army currently had.

 

"Thank you," Clarke finally said, turning to Lexa and bowing her head. It became strictly formal now, Lexa realized with a pang. "I will take good care of it."

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

 

**Chapter 6**

 

Clarke didn't like what was happening. Not one bit.

 

The Ice Nation was on their way and the camp had gone on the defensive, stationing guards at every entrance and in the main hall of Arkadia. Kane and the rest of the council plotted in whispered conversations in their chambers while Clarke, Bellamy, and the rest of their friends were shuffled aside like children, kept out of everything entirely. Even though they were the only ones who wanted to actually _do_ something about the situation.

 

"They don't know the grounders like we do," Bellamy was saying as they crowded together in the dining hall. "I know there's some big clan meeting or whatever, but they can't just _sit_ here while they march out there."

 

"Well, apparently we don't the grounders either, given what happened at the mountain." Jasper tossed a dirty look over at Clarke. He hadn't been taking it well, as to be expected. Clarke could understand that. Maya was kind to them. She'd helped them try to escape; she embraced that what the mountain men were doing was wrong. And what did Clarke do? Murder her and all of her people with the flip of a switch.

 

Clarke would hate herself, too. In fact, she does and always will.

 

"We still need to do _something,_ " Clarke continued. "Just guarding our walls does nothing to confront a threat we know nothing about."

 

"Who even _are_ these people?" Bellamy asked. "We didn't see them during all of our time with the grounders."

 

"They're a rebellious clan." Everyone stopped as Lexa walked over to them, her green eyes watching them cooly. "They do not answer to me, and will now try to conquer the rest of the ground now that the threat of the mountain is gone."

 

Clafke felt a hit surge of anger pool up in her stomach. There stood _Lexa,_ the leader of the twelve clans who did _nothing_ when the mountain men went ahead to slaughter to her people. She'd fought beside Clarke and the Sky People and pledged her support to help all of their causes, and here she was--standing there smugly discussing a threat that she in reality had caused just as much as Clarke did.

 

"We didn't ask for your input, Commander." It was cold, and Clarke saw the brief ripple of feeling that flicked through Lexa's eyes. But she didn't care. This was about _her_ people, and this was something Lexa would never truly understand.

 

"Don't be foolish, Clarke." To everyone's dismay, Lexa pulled up a chair and sat down at the table, resting her hand comfortably on the flat surface. "I know you hate me. I know you _all_ hate me and don't trust me. But you have to believe me when I say the Ice Nation is unlike any other clan. They are ruthless, they are independent, and they will stop at nothing to get what they want."

 

"Buzz off!" Murphy snapped, shifting his seat away from her. "We don't _want_ you here."

 

"You've heard it twice now," Bellamy added, eyeing her darkly. "We don't want or need your counsel. Get out of here."

 

It was silent for a moment. Murphy and Bellamy were bristling, Jasper was glaring at the floor per usual, and Clarke was looking carefully at Lexa.

 

What did Lexa want? Clarke asked herself this question every day since Lexa had arrived, unarmed and unaccompanied. The girl had waltzed into their camp after having left their people for dead, and now there were talks of peace treaties and the Ice Nation and rebellions and working together as a united front.

 

Clarke wanted to hate Lexa. Part of her did, but another part couldn't quite help but feel that Lexa wouldn't be here unless there was a truly pressing reason. And maybe the Ice Nation really _was_ that reason, and maybe they should listen to her. She hadn’t pulled any tricks since arriving, although the Sky People knew well enough from Lincoln’s spying that these were people with no fear of waiting to strike.

 

Clarke didn't have a chance to finish her thoughts, for Lexa stood up, gave a stiff nod, and then walked away. Retreating from her, _again_.

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

The meeting was to go on as planned, the council had decided. It was nothing they couldn’t handle, they argued. Everything would be fine, they determined. Lexa let them decide, but made her disagreement heard.

 

“This is not a threat to take lightly,” she insisted calmly, neither too insistent nor too gentle. “Azgada does not attack directly. They know you’re watching them at the front, and they likely have armies coming in from the side and behind.”

 

“Nonetheless, we have to finish what we started.” Kane did not budge. And of course the other council members followed his lead, as foolish as it was. “Didn’t you yourself say that we will never be taken seriously as allies until we strike a treaty with the other clans?”

 

“Yes,” Lexa replied, “but that was under different circumstances. I didn’t anticipate the Ice Nation moving forward like this.”

 

“We didn’t anticipate your people threatening to eradicate us, Commander, and we did fine. So please forgive me for again having confidence in our ability to defend our walls and negotiate.”

 

 _These aren’t your people,_ Lexa reminded herself as she felt herself grow impatient with the way they disregarded her warnings. _They don’t know how much you know, and how much you’ve been through._

 

Lexa was no stranger to the doings of the Ice Nation. They’d wandered out of control for years during her childhood, taking people from her village and turning them into spies or, worse, slaves and cheap army bait. It was only recently with the start of the coalition that they calmed down, limiting their raids and mostly keeping their toes in line.

 

But Lexa never imagined they’d be still for long. And today her instincts were proven to be correct, even if no one else believed her.

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

That night, as Lexa and Clarke slept in their respective tents outside of Arkadia in preparation for the morning’s clan meeting, it happened.

 

Five figures slinked into Lexa’s tent, past the Arkadia guards whose throats they’d slit in silence. Before Lexa could rustle and cry out, they slipped the cloth over her nose and her mouth, her consciousness slowly drifting further and further away until it was black and completely empty.

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

Thanks for reading, and apologies for the delay in updating! Things have gotten hectic. I hope you like it, and I hope to update sooner than I've been, although it's hectic again for a while :)

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 7, in which we begin to learn more about the Ice Nation's plans.

_ A request.  _

 

"CLARKE, PLEASE COME HOME," the sign above the strange building read. It was signed off with "MOM” and written in squiggly red ink. Possibly blood. It was definitely fresh, for the way the letters glittered brightly in the soft starlight of the night sky.

 

Where was "home" for these people, Lexa wondered? She and her scouts sat patiently in the branches of the trees, watching. These people, Lexa had learned, fell from the sky because their city was dying. They sent a hundred people down first--all children, interestingly--and then followed in waves, with this ship being the main landing. They'd only just arrived and barely knew anything about this place. 

 

Was the ground really home for them, then, after having spent generations above in space? Did they even know what  _ home  _ meant anymore? 

 

Lexa wasn’t normally prone to travel deep into enemy territory like this, but special circumstances warranted special measures. She knew about the problems with the intruders from the sky. She had sent people to take care of it, but their aggressions were accelerating. They’d burned 300 of Lexa’s people only days before. Not at this new place, but at their old one. What they called the “drop ship.” It was a move Lexa hadn’t expected, for she’d underestimated the Sky People and their leader and how determined she was to protect her people.

 

Was the Sky Girl’s mother as fierce as her daughter? Time would tell, Lexa knew, staring at the writing one last time before turning around and heading back toward the safety of the trees, of  _ her  _ homeland. 

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

**Chapter 7**

 

Very slowly, Clarke’s eyes flickered open. A melange of colors swirled to greet her--the green of the tree leaves, the brown of the forest floor, the white of the bright sun, and the blue of the barely-visible sky.

 

“Clarke?”

 

Clarke blinked a few times before focusing on the blurred figure in front of her. “Lexa?”

 

Where were they? Clarke’s head hurt and her mind felt groggy and displaced. It was almost as if it existed outside of herself. She went to stretch her legs but then realized they were tied up. She then tried to move her arms but found that they too were bound to the tree bulging stiffly into her backside. Her breathing picked up just then, and she wiggled even more. 

 

“Don’t move too quickly,” Lexa whispered. She was looking at a point over Clarke’s shoulder, as she was sitting kitty corner across from her. “There are five guards behind you, taking a water break. Are you hurt?”

 

Clarke moaned in response, realizing how much she really wanted to rub her head. It was sore. She must have hit it, or it must have caught on something when she was knocked out and being dragged across the ground. It was  _ pounding  _ and  _ aching  _ like when she'd gotten pummeled by a grounder while helping Finn escape.

 

"Clarke?" Lexa asked again, more urgently. 

 

"'M fine," Clarke managed to croak back. 

 

It all happened so fast. The last thing Clarke remembered was waking to the movement of a group of people in her tent. And then nothing. Evidently they’d snuck into Lexa’s tent, too. It seemed like they were the only two people there, though. And she didn't know what to make of that. 

 

Clarke realized she didn’t even know who “they” were. But she could easily guess: the Ice Nation. Of  _ course  _ it was, and of  _ course  _ Lexa had been right not to trust them or take their advancement for granted. Clarke wondered what happened to the other clan leaders, and if Arkadia was currently under siege. The thought made her heart rate quicken even more, if that was even possible. Would someone get word to the other grounders that the Ice Nation was attacking? Would anybody even help them? 

 

“They’re coming back,” Lexa murmured just then, her eyes moving to Clarke’s. They had an intensity in them that Clarke couldn’t quite describe. “Close your eyes and slouch forward again like you’re still knocked out. Then we can listen to them.”

 

Clarke closed her eyes and relaxed her body at once, soon hearing the approaching footsteps of their captors.

 

_ “Ste der?”  _ one of them said as they approached.

 

_ “Sha. Nou foto, huh?” _

 

_ “Heh, res of, honon.” _

 

They were speaking Trigedasleng.  _ Damn it.  _ Clarke understood some but not all of the grounders’ language. They continued to go back and forth, their pace and exchanges quickening as they packed up their belongings. Clarke knew a word or two of what they said, including  _ Skaikru  _ and  _ heda _ and _ cof up _ . But that was all.

 

Lexa would understand what they were saying. It would fine. The thought of depending on Lexa for this information and for her very own survival made Clarke feel both uncomfortable, though. Yet strangely relieved. 

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

She was gone. Clarke was  _ gone.  _

 

Abby walked through the main clearing of the camp without really noticing what was happening around her. Kane was barking orders and guards were running from place to place. The leaders of the other clans were ushered into Arkadia's walls, much to their distrust and disdain after they'd all woken up to find four guards dead on the ground with Clarke and Lexa nowhere to be found. 

 

Deep down, Abby had feared something like this would happen. She knew from the moment Clarke returned to the camp after taking down the mountain that everything had changed. The damage was done. It was destructive. It was aggressive. And they all had to face the consequences. Lexa, too, seemed to have changed. Abby didn't know her well, but she knew her daughter. She saw the way Clarke glanced over at the brunette when she thought no one was looking, her gaze hard yet distressed. As if she were fighting the hostility her eyes betrayed. She also caught Lexa looking at Clarke as she'd pass by, her normally impenetrable stare softer, if only for a moment. 

 

Could they have run away? That was ridiculous. Clarke would never do that, and would never kill her own people. 

 

_ But Lexa would.  _

 

It was a dark thought and one that Abby wasn't alone in thinking. Throughout the day, whispers began to spread all over the camp. The dead guards were found at  _ Lexa's _ tent. This happened in the dead of night before the summit  _ Lexa  _ had planned. All while an enemy  _ Lexa  _ warned was a threat advanced and then stopped as soon as the pair had disappeared. 

 

Were they allied together, Lexa and the Ice Nation? Was there something deeper and greater going on here? 

 

Abby didn't know. Nobody knew. All they knew was that the two girls were missing, with Skaikru and Trikru alike putting their all into finding them again. 

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

 

They were thrown onto the ground-- _ hard. _

 

After a few minutes, Lexa sensed the Azgeda men were far enough way and opened her eyes. They were in an open clearing with trees that were less leaved than the ones they’d seen at Arkadia. Farther north, clearly. 

 

Very carefully, Lexa moved her left wrist out away from her body. It found another body very close by.

 

“Lexa?” Clarke’s voice was barely a whisper. The men wouldn't be able to hear it. “Where are we?”

 

“North,” Lexa whispered back. “To Azgeda.”

 

Azgada was no place for Sky People. Especially Clarke.

 

Lexa kept thinking that over and over again later as they were dragged even deeper into Ice Nation territory, no longer able to feign sleep as the hours--days?--passed by. She didn't like it. She couldn't  _ stand  _ it. Lexa's youth was framed in part by hearing the terrors of the clans to the north--of the ruthless leadership that dragged babies away from their mothers to spy on southern clans, and the wry war captions who captured anyone they thought could possibly be a threat to them. Like Costa. 

 

_ Wanheda _ . That's what they were calling Clarke now. Lexa had overheard their Azgada captors just that very morning, talking about the girl who fell from the sky and took down the mountain. Legend has it the one who kills Wanheda gains all of her power, and there was one person--one certain  _ queen _ \--Lexa knew would stop at nothing to get that power.

 

In addition to an abduction, this was turning out to be a rescue mission for Clarke, who knew not the extent of the danger she was in. But Lexa did. 

 

Clarke was still in anguish over what she had done to earn her new title. That was easy enough for Lexa to discern. She heard her sob at night, crying that she didn't have a choice and that she didn't want them to die. Lexa knew she was talking about the mountain men, and she felt for Clarke. Mostly because she knew that she was responsible for so much of that pain. But also because it hurt, to see Clarke so upset. 

 

It was an impossible decision, but one Lexa would make again. She  _ had  _ to choose her people. It was her  _ duty  _ to choose her people. If she had to be honest with herself, Lexa had expected Clarke to be killed that night. It haunted her dreams. It lingered in the back of her mind. It hasn't yet gone away. 

 

But Clarke was here. She was alive. And Lexa would protect her this time.

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

Thanks for reading! I'm having fun imagining more about what the Ice Nation might do and more about their culture. What are your thoughts?


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8, in which we learn more about Lexa and Costia.

 

_A possession._

 

"What is this for?" Clarke was holding up a weapon. It was a small, thin, and sharp blade, too small to be a primary weapon but too precise and well-carved to be for show. It was unlike anything Clarke had seen the grounders wield in battle. It was also _nicer_ than any of the grounder weapons Clarke came across, which were usually dull and well-worn as well as made from any materials that happened to be available.

 

They were in Lexa's chambers and the brunette turned around to look at what was in Clarke's hands. Her eyes widened.

 

"That is _not_ for play," she said quickly, moving to take the blade. Their hands brushed in the process.

 

Clarke felt a certain kind of tension fill the air between them. She could cut through it with the tip of that fine blade. And what was worse is that she didn't know what she'd done wrong, as she'd touched and examined numerous of Lexa's possessions without retribution before.

 

"What is it, Lexa?" Clarke went over to her. Lexa was sitting on her bed with the sword in her hands, her fingers cupping the edge of the blade. Clarke sat down beside her. "Talk to me."

 

 _Talking_ wasn't Lexa's favorite thing to do. Nodding and narrowing her eyes was more of Lexa's preferred language, as Clarke experienced from the very first day they met. They'd entered a stalemate at the dropship over Lincoln, eyes flashing to other eyes and nods directed across the room. It was surely hard for Lexa to open up in a society where she'd been taught to permanently shut down. But Clarke wanted her to try, if only for her own selfish purpose of being better able to understand her.

 

Lexa was quiet for a moment as she continued to run her fingers up and down the blade. She finally sighed, long and soft. "This sword was Costia's."

 

Costia. That was Lexa's lover whose head the Ice Queen had delivered to Lexa's bed in the middle of the night before their big coalition. Lexa talked to Clarke about it exactly one time: at the pyre where Finn's body burned. Lexa might have meant for it to be comforting, to tell Clarke how deeply she'd mourned and then how eventually she moved on. But at the time Clarke remembered thinking Lexa might have been a psychopath for the way she'd cut off all her feelings entirely.

 

"Was Costia a warrior, too?" Clarke's tone was gentle, and she found herself leaning in closer to Lexa.

 

"No." Sadness filled Lexa's eyes, which she immediately cleared before glancing back at Clarke, looking somewhat lost.

 

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." Maybe Clarke was pushing Lexa too far. Perhaps _she_ was going too far, talking about personal matters like this as if they'd known each other all their lives and regularly confided in one another.

 

Sharing and opening up was a natural impulse for Clarke. At least with people she cared about. She found it hard to contain herself.

 

"She was the daughter of an ambassador," Lexa said after a while, her hand still on the blade. "From a clan farther to the south by the ocean."

 

Clarke felt herself grow curious, as she didn't know much about the grounder roles and societal structures. "Did that make her an ambassador as well?"

 

"Not quite. She traveled with her father to Polis for official duties, but she wanted to be a healer."

 

"Like Nyko."

 

"Yes." Lexa gave a small smile. "He was going to take her on as his second, actually. He was stationed in Polis before the coalition began."

 

It was hard for Lexa. Clarke could tell how difficult it was for her to talk about Costia, to share that part of her life and her heart with Clarke. Her hand still gripped the blade, as if afraid it would slip away, and she barely ever looked up at Clarke. She continued to stare down at the sword.

 

"So, I'm not a healer or an ambassador," Clarke continued, trying to lighten the mood, "and I have to wonder where this sword comes in?"

 

They talked for a long time there on Lexa's bed. About Costia, about healers, about Polis, about the craftsman who made the sword especially for Costia so she could learn how to defend herself. Eventually Lexa set the blade against the wall as they continued to talk. The torch was starting to burn out, but they kept talking, learning more and more about one another's cultures.

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

 

**Chapter 8**

 

Homosexuality was not forbidden on the ground but was also not… _encouraged._ Especially not in Azgeda, where their power existed in numbers and where children born to mothers and fathers in a family unit were deemed to fare exceptionally well in battle. Of course children still "appeared" from outside the confines of partnership, but nobody ever talked about that. The children just moved in with their fathers and life carried on.

 

It was hard, then, for Costia to adjust to this lifestyle. This part of the Azgeda culture was the most surprising part to her. Love is love, as far as Costia and many other people from the south were concerned. She’d always been attracted to women. No one had ever punished her for it. Life is too short to judge and to squander what little happiness that may exist in the world.

 

Well, unless you're Queen Nia.

 

Costia knew Nia held she and Lexa’s relationship against the Commander. It wasn’t _prudent,_ Nia had said on more than one occasion as she’d tortured Costia. It wasn’t _useful_ for anything. Such a relationship would never bear children, so it was thus futile, meant for pleasure only. And life was about surviving, not leisuring.

 

And so Costia lived, adjusting as she went.

 

Costia spent the morning gathering laundry around the camp. It was cold, so she needed to wash the clothes close to the fire to prevent her fingers from freezing. She'd been doing laundry the past several days as prolonged punishment for her recent stay in the prison, and she sensed that something was happening. The warrior chiefs were sterner than usual, and stopping to chat less and less as the days went on. War was in the air, as the other girls told her. Azgeda felt war in their bones, like Costia herself could sense a storm brewing in the sea.

 

_Will Nia finally advance on Lexa and her coalition?_

 

The thought lingered in Costia’s mind. It was no secret Nia still sought control over all the clans. That point had again become apparent to Costia during her long days of imprisonment, where Nia would talk amongst her war chiefs and make Costia wait on them hand and foot. Nia was persistent. Relentless. And Costia suffered because of it.

 

At first Costia fought through it, determined to get back to Lexa. To defend Lexa. To be by her side again. But as the days and weeks and months and years went on, Lexa didn’t come for her. She didn’t even send scouts or mercionaries. She didn’t do anything.

 

“I can see how much she loves you,” Nia would sneer, her blue eyes twinkling. “Perhaps you’re a worthless hostage after all. Perhaps I should slit your throat and be done with it.”

 

Lexa’s abandonment hurt Costia. She’d known the girl for practically their entire lives, and she’d have hoped Lexa would try to save her from the misery of Azgeda. If not for their love, then for her people, and the principle of a south clan member being trapped in the far corners of the north.

 

So war was coming, they all said. Lexa was likely in trouble. As Costia stoked the fire and turned back to her laundry, refreshing the water with fresh flowers and oils, she wasn’t even sure if she _cared_ about this war.

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

 

Lexa had to figure out what was happening.

 

She'd been taking it slow, letting the warriors drag them along from patch of wood to patch of wood. They were dull men whose conversations revolved around absolutely nothing. They talked about hunting, about eating, about killing, and that's essentially it. From the few interactions they'd had, Lexa got the sense that they didn't speak English.

 

Five simple, useless goons. How was it they were able to sneak inside Lexa's tent before she could stop it?

 

Lexa could never forgive herself for that. It showed remarkable weakness for her to be so easily captured. Lexa imagined Nia sent these men assuming they'd fail--assuming Lexa's army would butcher them in half with the flat end of their spears. Except Lexa didn't have her army with her. She was advocating for peace. Nia caught her off guard and what might have been intended as a warning sign became an actual abduction.

 

"What are they saying?" Clarke whispered. She was trying to keep up, but she couldn't. Lexa couldn't blame her. It was hard learning a new language.

 

"Absolutely nothing of interest," Lexa sighed, leaning her head back against the tree she was tied to. "These men are utter morons."

 

Clarke chuckled, and Lexa felt the urge to smile. She hadn't smiled in such a long time. Had it been weeks? She had a feeling that she used to smile more, before the mountain. Before the betrayal. Before Clarke decided she wanted nothing to do with her anymore.

 

"What are we going to do, Lexa?" Clarke was serious again. Her blue eyes were clouded with concern. "I'm worried about my people."

 

"Your people will be fine."

 

"How do you know?"

 

There it was again: the blame. The hostility. The distrust. Lexa could understand that. She herself was slow to ever trust the words of another person. Their current circumstances certainly didn't change what happened and what Lexa had done. But she still felt herself grow impatient, because they didn't have time for this.

 

"It's not your people they're after," Lexa finally said slowly.

 

"Who are they after, then?" Lexa turned to look at Clarke again. She was so sincere. So pure. Clarke probably didn't think she was pure after all that she'd done at the mountain, and perhaps she wasn't. But in this moment, Lexa felt that she was. And she didn't want to hurt her. 

 

"We need to make a plan," Lexa sighed instead, glancing down at the ground. "Any ideas?" 

 

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Thanks for reading! I'm having fun writing Costia's character, since we know little about her from the show except that she was an important part of Lexa's life. What do y'all think about Costia? 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 9, in which pieces start to come together slowly yet surely.

_An instinct._

 

As Lexa returned from some light training ahead of the great battle on the mountain, she stumbled upon Clarke in the middle of the camp clearing. The blonde was organizing medical supplies when her eyes rested on the side of Lexa's face, widening. "You're cut!" 

 

"It's nothing," Lexa sighed, moving past Clarke and over to her tent. She wasn't surprised to hear Clarke following, and she felt herself smirk as the two of them entered through the door together. It was becoming a routine, Clarke moving around camp with her like this. It was starting to feel normal. Clarke was always around. And Lexa enjoyed her company--perhaps more than she should. 

 

Titus had warned her about this all those years ago with Costia. Love is weakness. Fondness for other human beings is a distraction. Affection for people detracts from duty. But when it came to Clarke, Lexa couldn’t help it. She couldn’t help but _feel_ something. She didn’t want to, and she _tried_ not to, but it just kept coming back, like waves on the beach. 

 

"Let me take a look at it," Clarke insisted. Lexa was shrugging out of her pale gray armor and simply sighed lightly, nodding her head. She knew Clarke would do it anyway, as she had plenty of times before. She was persistent and took her role as a healer quite seriously, even if she wasn't a healer in the true sense of the word. Clarke picked up a washcloth and dipped it in water before coming to sit with Lexa on her bed, her hand gently grasping the other girl's chin. 

 

"It's not deep," Clarke determined, nodding approvingly. Her hand was soft as it gripped Lexa's chin. Soft yet firm. "I think you'll survive."

 

Lexa puffed out a laugh, watching as Clarke dipped her cloth into water again and then began to softly dab at Lexa's chin. She could feel Clarke's warm breath against her face. It smelled sweet. Like flowers. It reminded Lexa of a time during her childhood where she ran around outside a clearing filled with rows and rows of big, purple flowers. She didn't remember where it was or even what it really looked like, but she remembered the smell and the feel of the sun shining down on her skin as she frolicked between the rows. 

 

Lexa felt like that now--safe and warm, free and light. She fought back a content hum as Clarke continued to brush at her face, and she wondered what it'd be like after the mountain, and if Clarke would continue to spend time with her and how often they would see one another.

 

Maybe it was weakness, but Lexa didn’t care. 

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

 

**Chapter 9**

  


“Are you sure that’s the best course of action?”

 

Abby was with the rest of the council discussing their next moves. It was four days since Clarke and Lexa had disappeared. They sent a rescue mission out to find them, but it came up short. They'd searched for any signs of activity miles around the camp and found absolutely none. Marcus’s plan was to now invade, which Abby thought to be too hasty. 

 

“We can’t trust these people,” Marcus explained. Others nodded along. “They snuck into our camp in the middle of the night and captured two people. One of _our_ people, along with the leader of all the other clans!”

 

How did that even happen, Abby wondered? Lexa was a skilled warrior, to say the least. Abby saw her slaughter a man with her bare hands once while they were traveling all together. It was eerie how easily her hands wound around the man’s neck and then snapped it away from the rest of his body. Abby knew which parts to disconnect as a medical professional, but she’d never have the strength or the ability to actually do it. Especially not so quickly and mindlessly as Lexa had done.

 

However it happened, Lexa was captured. Along with Clarke. But they didn’t even know if they were together; again, it could have been _Lexa_ and her people who orchestrated the entire affair.

 

“Indra insists the clans had nothing to do with it.” Marcus’s tone was curt. “As does Lincoln. Indra is a vengeful woman, but she isn’t a liar. And Lincoln is one of Clarke’s friends. He’d help us if he knew his people were involved.”

 

Why were they so easily convinced? Abby didn't understand, and she wasn't satisfied. They continued on with the meeting, discussing which generals to send ahead to the Ice Nation and which ones to leave behind and protect the camp. They didn’t have that many men, but they were relying on the grounder warriors to go with the patrol to the Ice Nation. Lexa’s people had somehow become united with the Sky People yet again, marching forward for a common cause.

 

Abby didn’t agree. Nothing they did would _ever_ be enough to bring Clarke back, as far as she was concerned. But she knew there was nothing she personally could do, for she wasn’t a scout, wasn’t a warrior, and wasn’t even the official leader of their people. All Abby could do was wait, as she had on the Ark and after landing on Earth and during the siege of the mountain. It was upsetting, how familiar waiting had become. Yet darkly expected. 

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

  


Clarke and Lexa were staring at the sky and the night stars again, like they used to do before fighting the mountain men. They were tied to a tree this time with men glaring at them, but they were still free to look up above them. As free as they could loosely be. 

 

Clarke had lived up there once, she remembered. What did the Ark look like in the sky to all these people? She couldn't remember what it looked like from here on the ground because she'd always known what it was. If she hadn't known it was a major space station, she might have thought it was a nearby star, or maybe even a UFO. It was nonetheless a sight and a feature that she missed: her home in the sky. 

 

"There's Lynx," said Lexa quietly. Jolted from her thoughts, Clarke turned her head to look at her. "Right there, below ursa major." Their hands were bound, but Lexa pointed up with her eyes to the zig-zagged constellation that resembled a leaping panther. 

 

"You remember that?" 

 

It felt like so long ago, the night before Mount Weather. They'd laid outside looking at the stars, both oddly and severely aware that it could be their last night doing so. Clarke had pointed out Lynx to Lexa, but she couldn't see it at first. So then Clarke had showed her. 

 

"Yes." Lexa looked away from the stars to meet Clarke's gaze. It was piercing, the intensity pouring through. "I remember every moment I've spent with you, Clarke."

 

A rush ran through Clarke's body. She stared back, opening her mouth to speak, but then one of the Ice Nation men rammed the bottom of his spear into her thigh. And it hurt. "Daun ste plenti. Odin her.”

 

Lexa's eyes flashed, trained on the end of the man's spear, and then Clarke was being led away, unable to look back behind her. She didn’t know where she was going, or why she was separated from Lexa, but she knew it probably wasn’t good. 

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

Costia was told to wait in her hut for a member of Nia’s guard to collected her. And wait in her hut was what Costia did.

 

It was just her in the hut today. Her roommates were out working. A couple of them were on gathering duty, looking for edible herbs and plants in the forests for the healers and cooks to use. The other was working with the cooks in the kitchens, preparing meals for the soldiers after their busy days of training and hunting and drilling for the war that was seemingly so near. 

 

What could Nia possible want with her, Costia wondered? She’d done as she was told. She washed laundry all day, every day for the past week. She talked to no one and ate her meals quietly by herself, avoiding the gossip her roommates like to promote and avoiding any and all people she encountered outside of her hut.

 

Costia had done everything she was told and everything expected of her. Why was she being punished?

 

When she was dragged to the queen’s throne room and thrown at the base of it, Costia soon learned why. 

  
“Your lover is almost here, Costia,” Nia said sweetly, her teeth curving to a devilish smile. “But not for you. With the Sky Girl, _Wanheda._ Are you ready to meet the reason why your Lexa never came to search for you?”

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Thanks for reading! I'm still fleshing out the plot but have ideas and events written/planned for later in the piece :) what are your thoughts so far? 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 10, in which we are closer and closer to the Ice Nation and all its troubles.

 

_A discovery._

 

As Clarke rode with Trikru through the forest back toward TonDC, she noticed the pace slow until they came to a full stop. 

 

"Why are we stopping?" Clarke turned and looked over toward Lexa. The brunette was riding a white stallion near the front of the group, a few paces away from Clarke. She tugged on the reins and urged for her horse to turn. In the meantime, the sun caught her braided hair and made it gleam cedar-gold in the light. Clarke had never noticed that before. 

 

"We are stopping to rest and to wash," Lexa answered calmly, climbing down her horse. Her eyes flickered to Clarke at that last part, and Clarke almost thought she saw a glimmer of amusement. 

 

Clarke wasn't immune to bathing in public. She and the rest of the 100 had done so often enough after they'd first landed, for it was either that or live in sweat and grime. But that was with her own people. That was with people she'd grown up with, whether she particularly cared for them or not. They were at least familiar to her and part of her life. 

 

But, the grounders? _Lexa?_

 

Clarke felt herself blushing at that last thought, of singling out the Commander in her worry. She followed Lexa down to the water stream, all too aware of how her hair continued to shine in the sunlight. _Why hadn't she noticed that before?_ It was rather pretty, like the polished wood furniture in Mount Weather. It was a natural hue, unlike the dyed shades people in the Ark had concocted for themselves. And it suited Lexa. 

 

Clarke shook her head, determined to move on from her thoughts. 

 

When they arrived at the stream, Clarke was shocked to see all of the grounders strip down and then wade into the water, their private parts out in full display. Modesty didn't seem to be part of their customs. They moved with ease, from the river bank to the water and around in it. With another blush, Clarke looked down, her heart pounding. She was the only one of her people here. She knew practically nobody, except for Indra, some of the guards, Lexa… 

 

"Are you alright?" 

 

Clarke felt her face flush hotter as she heard Lexa approach her. She didn't dare look in case the Commander was undressed already. "Uh, yeah." Clarke heard a puff of a laugh and then looked over at Lexa by instinct. Luckily she was still dressed, although her overcoat was off. 

 

"I can tell you're uncomfortable," Lexa continued. "And I can understand that. I know a more secluded area if you'd like to go there."

 

Clarke nodded and followed the brunette, but she wasn't sure if it was because of the promise of privacy or the promise of time spent with Lexa. 

 

"Oh, this is much better." Clarke felt her body loosen and relax as Lexa led them to a small stretch of the stream blocked off from the main river by a collection of overgrown trees. You had to slide in around the side to enter, and no one else was nearby.

 

They were standing a few feet apart in the water now, their clothes on a rock and towels laid out on the shore. Clarke was washing her hair in the water, her fingers untangling the knots that’d kinked up over the past several days. She understood why Lexa kept her hair in braids. It was practical. That was something Clarke hadn’t thought about before: how to wear her hair. So many things were _different_ down here on the ground. 

 

"It's always nice to find some privacy every now and then." Lexa was washing herself, too, and Clarke felt herself blush again as Lexa moved ever so slightly and revealed the side of her breast. Clarke instinctively looked down, covering her face with her hair, her chin still up to the water while Lexa was standing. _Were the grounders really that modest, or was Clarke just too uptight about it all?_

 

They finished their wash in silence. Clarke just knelt there in the water after she was done, not quite sure what to do next and how, exactly, to leave the water.

 

“Finished?” Lexa tossed a look back at her as she moved toward the shore, her buttocks in full display. Clarke’s face flashed beet red, and by the way Lexa’s lips curved, she knew the other girl noticed. “I’ll go back to the others and wait for you, then.”

 

Lexa was enticing. She was so graceful and so powerful. As Clarke remained in the water, trying hard not to turn her head and look at Lexa again, she realized then what she felt for Lexa surpassed the kind of working relationship she’d convinced herself of having with her.

 

* * *

 

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

  


**Chapter 10**

 

Lexa’s foot tapped impatiently against the bulge of the earth in front of her, the most movement she could muster in the restraints the Azgeda men placed on her. _Where was Clarke?_

 

It had been at least an hour since the guard carried her away, after kicking her _hard_ in the stomach. Maybe two hours, even. And Lexa didn't like for Clarke to leave her sight. 

 

She always assumed the worst. It was Lexa's trademark. Titus told her it was the impact of being Commander and thus being responsible for so many others, but Lexa had felt this way _before_ she'd taken command. It would wash over her without warning. Her hunting partner would take their time returning from their rounds and she'd worry that they were killed by a Mountain Man; Anya would bark a harsh reprimand to her and she'd be convinced the woman hated her and would no longer keep her on as her second. She remembered Clarke and Abby talking about this type of phenomenon once. They'd referred to it as "anxiety." But the grounders didn't have language or concepts for that. They just did and carried on, with whatever it was they felt. 

 

Another long while stretched on. The night sky continued to chime with the sounds of the forest, and Lexa continued to wait, realizing more and more how destitute the situation had become. She needed to tell Clarke the truth about Wanheda and the danger she was in. She needed to work out a plan with her, with Clarke’s safety and escape the top priority.

 

But Lexa couldn’t at the moment. She was tied up, Clarke was taken away, and all she had were her thoughts--her invasive, high-alert, good-for-nothing thoughts.

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

 

“Are you ready?” Bellamy tossed Monty one of the machine guns, not looking twice as the shaggy-haired boy struggled to catch it. “We leave in fifteen minutes.”

 

Like when they’d first arrived down on the ground, Bellamy had assumed responsibility of the situation. Clarke and Lexa were missing, for _days_ now. He didn’t trust the Commander’s people when they said they didn’t have anything to do with it. He didn’t trust anything _any_ of them said after Mount Weather, and despite what their leaders thought, Bellamy and his friends were going to go out there and do what they do best: save their people.

 

It hadn’t been an easy adjustment for Bellamy. When the Arkers fell from the ground and found their camp, they’d stepped in immediately, with Kane bluntly saying “we’re here now” as they proceeded to impose all of their law and order on the place. They didn’t acknowledge how The 100 had taken care of themselves for weeks, had fed the Ark crucial information about the Earth and its habitat; had effectively saved the part of the human race trapped in the sky.

 

Bellamy wasn’t a child. He was older than all the others. He had more experience than them. He’d _seen_ the corruption of the guard and the government on the Ark. And he wasn’t about to let their corruption and their weak points lose one more of their people.

 

“Hey, what are you doing?”

 

_Damn it._ Raven was on her way over to them, moving with a heavy limp on her left leg. She hadn’t fully recovered from Murphy’s gun shot. She was in no shape to accompany them like that, and no shape to do anything except take care of herself.

 

“No,” Raven retorted when he’d told her their plan, which excluded her. “You _need_ me. I can jimmy together bombs and bullets and other things you need!”

 

“At what cost, Raven?” The group had assembled together now--Monty, Miller, Octavia, Lincoln, Harper, even Jasper and some other people from their group--but Bellamy wasn’t going to get into it. “It’s not safe out there. We have no idea what to expect. You need to stay here.”

 

“No,” Raven repeated. She leaned on her good leg and crossed her arms, her brown eyes fire. “You are not going without me. If you do, then I’ll tell Marcus and Abby where you’re going and you won’t make it past the dropship.”

 

Mutters broke out among the group, and from the concerned glances all around him, Bellamy knew he didn’t have a choice. “Fine. But it’s your responsibility to keep up. If you lag behind, you’re on your own.”

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

 

"Talk," The guard dug his hand into Clarke's scalp and yanked up, several strands of blonde hair coming with it. His English was broken, and Clarke wondered if he’d even understand anything she would say. "Understand?" 

 

_"No!"_

 

Clarke locked her jaw and kicked upwards. The guard groaned audibly before throwing her against the wall again, his breathing picking up and his eyes furious. 

 

She didn’t know what they wanted from her. Clarke didn’t know anything or hold any secret information. She’d blown up the mountain, of course, and proven that she wouldn’t let the grounders push her around, but else did they want? What information could she possibly have? It didn’t make any sense. They could shout at her until they were blue in the face, but it wouldn’t accomplish anything. 

 

It had all happened so fast. Clarke felt dizzy just thinking about it. The mountain, Lexa, the meetings, the preparations, the kidnapping, the hike through the forest… She’d feared something like this would happen. She’d put herself in danger time and time again, always able to slip away. But her time was finally catching up with her. She had to be strong now. Even though she didn’t know what she had to be strong for.

 

Another guard came in then. The two exchanged a quick exchange in Trig before the guard put the blindfold back over Clarke’s eyes and pushed her outside, not bothering to catch her when she stumbled and caught her foot on a tree root. She twisted her ankle yet pushed on, pain shooting up her leg.

 

_“Chit yu gaf?”_ Lexa shouted as they returned. Clarke didn’t know what it meant, but could feel the fire in the Commander’s voice. _“Teik osir gonot.”_

 

The guard laughed, kicking at Clakre until she was on her knees. Lexa _growled,_ low in her throat, and as the blindfold was taken off Clarke’s head, she saw a look she wouldn’t want to ever see in battle directed toward the pair of guards.

 

“You’re hurt,” Lexa said suddenly, her eyes swiveling from the guard to Clarke’s twisted ankle, which indeed stuck out at an odd angle. 

 

“Yeah, I tripped on a tree root.”

 

“Due to _these_ vermin, I suspect,” Lexa snapped, her eyes harsh again. But then they softened as she scooted closer, inspecting Clarke’s foot. “Can you stand on it?”

 

They sat in silence for a while, the guards skinning a rabbit they’d caught over the faint trickle of the the fire. Clarke wanted to ask Lexa why they were there and what was going on, but a simple look from the brunette made her held her tongue.

 

“I’ll explain everything later,” Lexa whispered, her voice barely audible above the crackling. “There’s something you need to know.”

* * *

  **Author's note:**

Thanks so much for reading, and SORRY FOR THE DELAY!! Life has gotten busy. I've been fleshing out ideas but not posting as often as I would like, although I have more chapters planned that I can hopefully get out soon! Thanks for reading again, and please let me know what you think :) also The 100 season 6 finale next week!!! Are you excited?!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 11, in which certain walls start to wear down.

_A time long ago._

 

The sun shone bright on Lexa's skin as she laid out on a rock near the river, drying off from a late afternoon wash. She had a break in her schedule today. Anya didn't need her to go on patrol with her or join a hunt, and there were no other duties that Lexa needed to assist with. "Consider yourself spared," Anya had drawled, in her sardonically-affectionate manner that wouldn't seem affectionate to literally anyone else. So Lexa had hooted and raced over to the water, but not before making a stop to a certain housing unit at the edge of Polis, conveniently located on her way.

 

"Costia?" Lexa asked, yawning and turning on her side to face her rock-lounging companion. Costia's eyes were closed as she continued to bathe in the sun. Her light brown hair was strewn over the edge of the rock, tangled with half-dried curls. Lexa wanted to reach out and tease through them, as she did on occasion when she and Costia had time together. She looked so comfortable, so at peace--as if she hadn't a single care in the world. 

 

The time they had together was becoming increasingly rare as Lexa's training picked up and Costia found herself with more and more ambassador duties. They'd reached their fifteenth year, which was an age of heightened responsibility amongst the clans, Lexa's own Trikru and Costia's Yujleda. Lexa, as a _nightblada,_ trained day and night in Polis as a warrior to both serve her Hedaand protect various cities and villages. Costia, as the daughter of a Yujleda ambassador, followed her father on his rounds and his missions to strike alliances and serve their Heda.And for the past few months, that service brought them to Polis. 

 

The two girls spent several days together upon Costia's first arrival, since Anya and Lexa were assigned as her father's guard. Their friendship was swift and fierce before becoming something _more_ , which they realized even in their youth transcended anything else they'd ever experienced. When her father no longer required a guard detail Lexa still came to see them, checking in between training sessions and asking Costia if she wanted company traveling to the river or to collect the supplies she gathered as part of her healing interest. She would always agree, her eyes twinkling with her smile, and they'd walk together toward Costia's destination, eventually hand-in-hand. 

 

They were not children by law, but not true adults by age. So they lived as best they could, bearing the responsibilities of their duties while enjoying one another's company. 

 

"Costia." Smirking, Lexa took her hand and pinched Costia's arm. The girl immediately shimmied away and then opened one, narrowed green eye to glare at her. 

 

"I am enjoying my sun bath, Lexa."

 

"We have been here for almost an hour."

 

"So?" Costia opened her other eye, batting them both at Lexa. She could see the sheen of her lashes in the sunlight. It was irresistible. And Costia knew it. "Can't we stay a little longer?" 

 

"I have to get back to my training." Lexa sat up then, sighing. "Anya will be cross if I am late."

 

"You _nightblada_ and your training," Costia sighed back. Her eyes were closed again as she took in a deep breath. "When you become Heda, please allow the _nightblada_ to spend more time in the sun."

 

When Lexa became Heda. It was a burden as much as a privilege, just like the night blood that runs through her veins. It was every _nightblada's_ ultimate goal and mission, but moments like these where the sun was warm, the water was cool, and Costia was so incredibly beautiful, Lexa wished more than anything that she was free to live and to do as she pleased. 

 

"Costia?" Lexa said, her voice quieter than it was before. Costia merely hummed in return, her eyes still closed as the rays still reflected on her skin. "I like being with you."

 

Heat blushed at Lexa's cheeks at the admission. She then felt Costia's fingers brush against her own. "Can't we stay a little longer?" 

 

Those eyes--those piercing green eyes. They fluttered at Lexa now, and she saw in them her past, her present, and her future; everything she ever was and will be. She saw comfort. She saw security. She saw happiness. 

 

"A little longer," Lexa settled, smiling again and then closing her eyes, shifting closer to Costia as Costia scooted closer to her. Just a little longer. 

* * *

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

* * *

 

 

**Chapter 11**

 

It wasn't hard to find them. 

 

Abby had snuck away from the rest of the council and headed toward the woods, a traveling pack filled with enough supplies to last a week in tow on her back. She wasn't on board with the way Kane and everyone else decided to do things: mass strength and numbers via machine guns and guards. Big, swift moves to showcase strength and the severity of the issue. She was disappointed in Marcus, who she'd thought had higher moral ground.

 

They were better than that. And Abby would have no part of it when she knew Clarke would not approve and when she was still missing. 

 

The kids understood this. As young as they were, the youth had stuck by their principles and their morals during a time of chaos and no law and order. Abby had underestimated them, but she realized now that they had the right intentions all along. Misguided at times, perhaps, and a bit rash, but pure. 

 

"Hey, guys."

 

" _Abby?!"_

 

She'd caught them off guard. Bellamy swiveled around, his gun pointed at her, while Monty had shrunk away behind the tree they were standing around, an arrow at the ready. 

 

"How did you…" Bellamy began. 

 

"I didn't, at first." Abby set down her pack and told them everything--more than she'd told them before about anything. She told then about her misgivings, her fears, her own opinions on the situation, and her ultimately goal to simply get Clarke back. And they listened to her. 

 

That was what it all came down to in the end: saving Clarke. Abby didn't care what she had to do in order to save her, or who she had to team up with. Neither did the kids. 

 

"Alright," Bellamy said, giving her a stiff nod and sitting back down on the tree stump. "You can come with us."

 

"What's the plan?" Abby asked. 

 

They all laughed. "We don't have one." Abby simply stared, somehow not surprised. "But we'll figure it out sooner or later."

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

"Do you have any family, Lexa?" 

 

It was the first conversation they’d had in hours. Clarke didn’t really know how long it'd been, or where they were, or what was happening. The sun had gone down by that point, and they’d had no sign of anyone coming to see them or talk to them in their prison of their cave. The men threw them in there, chained them to the wall, and then left. The Ice Nation was waiting them out, Clarke was sure. But she didn't even know where they were--in their camp or somewhere else nearby. Lexa didn’t seem to know, either. 

 

“No,” said Lexa after a long while. In the dim lighting from the candle, Clarke could see Lexa’s eyes darken, like she was hiding something. 

 

"None at all?" That was an extremely personal question, Clarke knew, but she didn't care. They both could be dead soon for all they knew. Why not freely talk and ask invasive personal questions? Why not talk and at the very least not die in silence? 

 

Lexa was a quiet person. From the day they’d first met, she saved her words and spoke only when thinking it through carefully. This was her demeanor during all professional and official events and converse, but sometimes at night when it was just the two of them by the candlelight, she’d speak more freely and profusely. She’d talk about the legend of Becca Pramheda, and how her people learned to fight and survive by the virtue of what she’d taught them. She’d talk about the wilderness and its many treasures, as well as some of the great artifacts she’d found on her journeys. And more than that, she’d listen to Clarke, soaking in everything she could about the Sky People culture and the history of their shared distant ancestors she knew so little about.

 

But they were not in the safe candlelight of Lexa’s tent. Everything was different and so much had happened. 

 

"None at all." Lexa was staring at her feet, stripped of her boots and left bare and scratched from the stones and dirt. It took her a long time to answer. "My parents died when I was young."

 

Clarke felt a stab of tenderness flow through her. She'd known Lexa led a tough life as the Commander and a warrior before that, but leading that life without your parents or a family felt especially cruel. Clarke didn’t know what her life would be like if she hadn’t been raised by her mother and father. She couldn't even think about it. "I'm sorry, Lexa."

 

At that Lexa turned to look at Clarke, her eyes taking in the cuts and burns on the blonde's face. "You're hurt."

 

Lexa had a bad habit of ignoring her feelings and focusing on the task at hand, as well as on others around her. Love was weakness, after all. Duty is stronger than feelings. Why bother dwelling on the love she felt in the past, for her parents or for anyone else? Clarke sighed, shaking her head and murmuring that it was no big deal and she was no more beat up than Lexa was. 

 

"I miss my parents," Clarke finally interjected after a long lull. She could sense Lexa shift, presumably uncomfortable at the switch back to their families and their feelings. "Especially my dad."

 

"What was your dad like?" Clarke looked over at her companion as she spoke, surprised. Lexa merely stared back. "May I ask? Is that alright?" 

 

There was something refreshing about Lexa, which isn't a word Clarke would normally use to describe any person who killed probably hundreds of people in their short lifetime and led an army of thousands of battle-hungry warriors. But sitting there filthy and dehydrated in a cave with an uncertain future, Lexa cared about Clarke's boundaries. She gazed at Clarke with concern and sincerity. And Clarke appreciated it. 

 

"Yes." Clarke smiled, memories of football games and hide-and-seek across the Ark coming to mind. "He was the most wonderful man I knew.”

* * *

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

* * *

 

Lexa stopped what she was doing, turning to glance at the blonde. Her eyes were glistening but not yet teary, and Lexa felt a softness swirl through her as Clarke admitted to missing her parents. 

 

She'd never gotten to know her own parents. Nightblood children are taken to train in the capital as soon as they are able, and Lexa had barely turned 6 before she was whisked away from her small village in the woods to the capital of Polis. 

 

She remembers her mother's embrace during a thunderstorm. That was a strong memory of Lexa's--being rocked in her mother's arms as the thunder wailed above, hitting a nearby tree and rumbling the earth beneath them. Lexa felt safe there in her mother's arms. She knew that she would not be harmed, even if she didn't know what would happen next. And she never felt that safety or comfort again after that. 

 

But then Titus came and escorted her away, and eventually Anya became the closest thing Lexa had to a parent. Anya was tough on her, demanding she keep up and lecturing her for crying or resting or whatever other childish thing Lexa did. She'd quickly made a warrior out of a little girl. And then the Commander began to work with her for extra lessons before she became the commander herself. 

 

So to hear Clarke speak so sadly and longingly about her parents stirred something inside Lexa. An estranged sort of warmth, in which Lexa wanted to crowd around and experience again per lack of ever having felt it. 

 

"What was your dad like?" 

 

That might have been too personal of a question, but Clarke smiled and then told Lexa stories. It was strange how guarded Lexa grew up to be and how open Clarke presented herself. She talked about the games they used to watch, the lessons he used to teach her, his watch, his detailed construction on the Ark's oxygen systems, their late-night conversations while overlooking the floating Earth. 

 

Lexa moved closer to Clarke on the dirt floor, listening intently as Clarke's tone lowered and her voice started to shake. "You still have your mother," she reminded her gently.

 

At that Clarke's eyes watered again. "If we ever get out of here."

 

Clarke had broached the elephant in the room. They didn't know when or _if_ they'd ever get out of there. It was humiliating for Lexa, really, to be held captive as Commander of all twelve clans, to have been snatched in the middle of the night like a common piece of prey. How had it all happened? She asks herself that every moment of every day as she searches for a way out, for the opportune moment to strike the Azgeda men. But that moment never comes. 

 

"We'll find a way out, Clarke." Lexa's voice was low but certain. More certain than she actually felt. But certain enough to get them through this. 

* * *

**Author's note:**

Thanks for reading! How did you like this flashback featuring Costia and Lexa?! I have so many ideas for flashbacks but thought I'd try this one out :) and some long-awaited, present day Lexa-Costia action to come soon! I've drafted the scenes and will share them in the next chapter or two :D


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 12, in which, finally, we see Costia. And in which Lexa doesn't know how she feels about anything.

 

_ A refrain. _

 

It was a couple weeks into their allyship when Clarke burst into Lexa’s quarters with a small device in her hand. Lexa hadn’t looked up fully (only glancing to see that it was just Clarke), but it was no matter. Clarke practically skipped over to her, thrusting the device close to her.

 

“Look at this, Lexa!” Clarke was beaming, hardly able to contain herself. That was one of the things Lexa was most fond of--the blonde’s excitement and passion for things Lexa had long grown used to. She had an inquisitive nature about life and Earth that could lighten even Lexa’s most frustrating mood. This time, however, Clarke was holding something with which Lexa was  _ not  _ familiar.

 

It was a piece of technology from  _ Before. _

 

“What is it?” Lexa took it from Clarke carefully. She examined the edges of a small black box with a scratched-up screen. It was both well-worn yet preserved. When her finger moved across the middle button, the device lit up. Lexa jerked her head back instinctively, as if being attacked by an enemy.

 

“Relax, Lexa.” Clarke laughed lightly, moving to take the device back. Their fingers touched in the process. “It’s not going to hurt you. It plays music.”

 

Music was a special thing in the grounder culture. They had retained some musical knowledge and skills and used them mostly at ceremonies or momentous occasions. The last time Lexa heard music was at a peace signing at one of the ocean villages several months ago. The village displayed their best singer, trained by a traveling group of musicians who had stopped by at some point on their wanderings. Her voice was sweet and smooth as she sang to the beats of the simple drums. Their music was practical, distinguished; elegant, refined. 

 

The music that started playing from the box, however, was something... _ different. _

 

Words flashed across the screen:  _ Lady Gaga - Heavy Metal Lover.  _ Lexa followed the steady beat of drums, but also heard electronic sounds. Like a buzzing, really--a controlled buzzing that clearly was aligned with the drums and the overall feel of the music. It had a tempo that made Lexa’s foot want to tap along. It was fast and upbeat. It was harsh. It was cold. Glancing over at Clarke, Lexa saw that she already was swaying along with rhythm. Her shoulders moved easily, as did her hips. Lexa blushed as Clarke looked over at her, too. 

 

They continued to listen to the song, Lexa balking at some of the crude lyrics while Clarke simply raised her eyebrows and chuckled. Clarke repeated the song once, and then twice, and then more times. 

 

Toward the end, one refrain in particular stood out to Lexa: “I could be your girl, girl, girl, girl, girl girl but will you love me if I rule the world, world, world.”

 

Lexa closed her eyes that night with the words still in her head. “I could be your girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl.” She saw blonde hair and blue eyes as she started drifting off to sleep. “But will you love me if I rule the world, world, world?”

 

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

  
  


**Chapter 12**

 

When the guard came in to see them, alone with a simple sword and the key to their chains, Lexa made her move.

 

She was tired of waiting. She was tired of being completely bound from head to toe. She was tired of straining her brain every waking moment to find a way to escape and to keep Clarke safe from Nia's hands. She was simply very, very tired. 

 

But she wasn’t bound tight anymore. They'd lightened her restraints, possibly because she'd been so docile up to that moment. When the guard came over to them, bending down to adjust Clarke’s shackles, Lexa shot her foot out and kicked him.  _ Hard.  _ He fell to the ground, yelping in pain, and then Lexa took her other foot and put her feet around his waist, dragging him to her. He went for his sword but Lexa intercepted, knocking it out of his hands. It landed near Clarke. As Lexa wrestled with the man and threw her body weight against his, she felt him still.

 

“Don’t move.” Clarke had managed to jimmy the sword into her hands so that she could point it at the man’s throat. Lexa smiled, adding the trig translation of " _ kamp der roun" _ and watching the man's brows furrow. 

 

“You don’t want to do that,” the man panted in trig, clearly annoyed but also afraid, Lexa could tell. “You know that there are others here. And you don’t know where you are, or how many others beyond this group exist out here.”

 

He had a point. Lexa had no idea. They’d successfully drugged and man-handled the two of them hundreds of miles across the ground to the point where Lexa had lost most of her bearings. But if it were true that there were masses of other people who could come to Azgeda’s aid, this man wouldn’t be sweating. Lexa saw it at the very top of his forehead, beading slowly while his face faked calm. She smiled again, for like she had said days ago, these men were very dull. 

 

" _ Ai op,"  _ Lexa commanded, and the man turned to look at her, perhaps by instinct. It was pathetic, really. She didn't say anything, but her eyes spoke volumes. This man knew he was going to die. Clarke caught on, too, and moved the sword even closer. 

 

" _ Beja yu daun,"  _ the man whimpered. He crouched at Clarke's feet, shaking. " _ Hop op." _

 

That was easy enough for Clarke to understand. Lexa gazed at her, watching her face.  _ "Klark,"  _ she said softly. She seldom ever said Clarke's name in her native tongue, but it felt right in this moment. Clarke looked up at her, waiting, and Lexa merely nodded to her.  _ "Sad yu in. _ You decide."

 

The mountain truly changed Clarke. Whereas the Clarke beforehand--during pauna, during meetings, during the siege, during their conversations by the stara--had hesitated, this Clarke nodded, shoved forward, and executed the man in front of them without thinking twice. 

* * *

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

* * *

 

 

Abby and the kids--the  _ delinquents,  _ as they’d once been called on the Ark--moved deeper and deeper into the woods. None of them really knew where they were headed, but it was easy to tell which way was north. The chill of winter started to seep through their clothes to the soles of their shoes. It wouldn’t be long until it came in full swing, even further south.

 

Bellamy and Raven had co-devised a plan of action: capture an Iced Nation guard or warrior to gather more information. There had to be some prowling around out here. They’d be able to tell them where the camp was, where Clarke was, and why the Queen wanted her. It was better than no plan at all, but as they progressed further and further north, they also realized they may soon come across more than they can handle. But they’d worry about that when they got there.

 

It was the third day that they actually found someone. While they were sleeping around their small campfire, Monty had heard a noise from the nearby woods. He was on watch while everyone slept for the night. There was a scuffle and some muted grunts before Abby was rustled awake by Harper and Raven as a man dressed in heavy winter furs was pushed into the center of the clearing, Monty’s gun at his head.

 

“The Ice Nation,” Bellamy said slowly in trig. His grasp of the language was better than Abby’s, though she could still understand. “What can you tell us about Clarke and the Commander?”

 

This would be a long interrogation, Abby realized. She sighed. The man simply spit down at the ground in front of them. She knew the Iced Nation people well enough to know they wouldn’t break easily, but they had to try. For Clarke. "Do you still have that bottle of poison, Raven?" 

* * *

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

* * *

 

 

"It might have been smart to let him live." Lexa and Clarke were on their own now, sauntering through the woods. The first task was to figure out where they were. The second to figure out how to survive and avoid further capture by the Ice Nation. And the third to spy as much as they could before turning to the safety of Trikru territory. Lexa couldn’t help but realize that the man Clarke had just killed could have helped them with the second one. But she also couldn't help but recognize how free she felt to be free, and how relieved that she and Clarke were safe. 

 

The choice was Clarke’s, of course. Lexa didn’t want to control what she did or micro-manage her decisions. She'd learned that the hard way during the events of the mountain. But this was different; this was high stakes. If only Clarke had been able to  _ see  _ that, and to think strategically about the situation. Things would be so much easier. Clarke didn't know the extent of the danger she was in with her title of Wanheda. And for whatever reason, Lexa didn't want to share that with her just yet. 

 

"I'm not going to sit through another lecture, Lexa." Clarke's voice was sharp as they cut through the thicket. Lexa felt her irritation swirl around them. "What's done is done. We're headed north, right?" 

 

They found their way to a cave eventually, which seemed abandoned and secluded enough. Lexa still didn't recognize where they were and that only meant one thing: they were deep in Ice Nation territory. The air was colder here, and Lexa felt herself shiver in her thin top. Winter was close--closer all the way up here. She'd traveled far and wide but never through Azgeda, as Nia never allowed it. But she knew the deep sink of cold when she felt it. 

 

"Here, let me." Clarke took the rocks from Lexa and clicked them together to get the fire going. She was remarkably impatient. The cave was ventilated enough so that it wouldn't show too much smoke. Lexa sat down on the floor and put her hands to the flames, watching them flicker. 

 

They didn't speak for a long while. They both stared into the fire, as they'd done several times before on their travels through Trikru territory and at TonDC. But it was different. Everything felt different now. 

 

“What now?” Clarke’s voice was calm, focused. She was gazing intently at the fire, as if hoping it’d show her an answer. Lexa briefly wondered if Clarke’s people had legends of fire keepers like they did on the ground, of ancient flame keepers of sorts who could read messages from fire sent from the gods above. From the  _ stars,  _ where Clarke and her people lived for a hundred years...

 

“First, we eat.” Lexa felt her joints ache in protest as she stretched out her legs, still bare of boots and socks from when the Ice Nation had taken them. They didn’t have time to look around or gather any supplies, as they’d heard the other guards in the near distance. “May I borrow your shoes, and your coat?” For whatever reason, they hadn’t taken Clarke’s clothes.

 

“Sure,” said Clarke, staring at Lexa quizzically, “but we don’t have any weapons. How are you going to hunt without a knife or any arrows?”

 

Lexa flashed her a smile just then, the first since they’d left the cave. “You’re never seen me hunt, Clarke. Weapons are not necessary.”

 

Clarke blinked at her with an expression mixed between admiration and surprise. 

 

Lexa returned an hour later, a rather thin rabbit in tow (it  _ was  _ cold in these lands) along with a handful of berries she’d found hidden under a bush. Clarke had found water and kept it near the fire with leaf bowls, a stick for the rabbit already in place.

 

“Okay, so you got the rabbit, but how are you going to--” Clarke didn’t finish her sentence as Lexa stared at her, turned to the rabbit, and began ripping at the fur with her teeth. Clarke shuddered at the act, turning away and stoking the flames instead. She must not have had it this rough during her time on the ground, Lexa thought, to never have resorted to hunting in this way.

 

There was a lot of things Clarke didn’t know or understand. Warfare, for one. Hunting, for another. Diplomacy in the way grounder traditions demanded. These woods, or most of the woods in Trikru territory. The Ice Nation and what they were capable of. How to survive without a gun. How to let things  _ go. _

 

They ate their small meal in silence, neither girl looking at the other. The howling of the wind and their constant fear of getting caught filled the emptiness of the space. Clarke had tended Lexa’s wounds as best she could with no supplies, and then they were trying to sleep, their bodies curled around the fire across from one another.

 

Lexa remembered a time where she and Clarke shared a bed as allies, as friends--as something possibly more that they hadn’t really discussed and that hung in the air. Even though they were not sharing furs this time, Lexa felt that similar tension fill the room. 

 

Would it ever get easier, being around Clarke? Lexa had told herself time and time again that she had to stop and that she couldn’t get so emotionally involved. But as she listened to Clarke’s breaths slow and begin to deepen, another part of her feared that it was already too late; she was already lost.

* * *

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

* * *

 

 

_ Costia _ . 

 

Lexa saw her--standing there, on the outskirts of the village with a small group of people. It looked like they were cleaning clothes, or rather,  _ rags  _ that constituted as clothes. They were huddled around a small campfire. They exchanged words every now and then, but they mostly just focused on their work. 

 

Lexa blinked very slowly, watching. Simply watching. It  _ couldn't  _ be Costia. Lexa had held her head in her arms two years ago, when it was sent to her bed. She'd seen her lifeless eyes and the curve of her jaw deformed by beatings. She saw the hint of the tattoo at her neck, and felt the bones on her slender cheek. 

 

But…could it  _ not  _ have been her? Lexa continued to watch this girl as she dunk her scraps in cold, ice-forming water and scrubbed them roughly with a sponge. She was focused, bent down and working diligently like Costa had done for basically anything she ever did. She moved gracefully yet purposely. Her arm movements were gentle. Her nose twitched up every so often. Her hair fell back from behind her ears as she bent forward. 

 

Lexa felt her bosh still and rush with a certain intensity she couldn't describe. Might it have been a trick all along? Could Costia, Lexa's sweet Costia, be standing right there in front of her? 

 

Lexa crept closer and waited until the girl was alone. 

 

"Costia." It came out as a whisper, but also a question. The girl looked up just then, and her eyes--the most beautiful and familiar green eyes--met hers. And then Lexa saw a deep scar from her nose to her ear, and the bones peaking out from her thin, malnourished body. And then she knew. With all of her being, Lexa knew. 

 

It was her. It was Costia. Lexa had seen those eyes and that face so many nights in her dreams. She'd known them since they were young and from the close proximity of their traveling tents and eventually the grandeur of the Commander's bedchambers in Polis. 

 

_ Costia.  _ Her Costia. Right there. 

 

"Costia," Lexa rasped again, louder this time. More urgent. She was aware that the Azgeda scouts were patrolling nearby and it was only a matter of moments before she had to leave and head back to their hideout. She gazed at Costia intently before reaching out her hand through the trees, toward her.  _ For _ her. 

 

But, Costia hesitated. She looked at Lexa, her eyes wide and swimming with something Lexa couldn't place, and then she looked at the nearest tent and around at the trees. 

 

And then it was too late. 

 

The scouts were back. Five of them. Maybe six. Lexa calculated her actions just then. She could take them, she was sure. What were a small group of men compared to her battle skills? But it would be noisy. Others would come. The Queen would know she were there and not back to Polis or some other village after the escape. All of her sneaking would be for naught. 

 

In that moment, Lexa slipped away, staring at Costia as she left. Costia was staring back, green eyes on green, and then all Lexa saw was the wilderness around her. 

* * *

**Author's note:**

Thanks for reading, and AHH FINALLY COSTIA! I was so excited to write that initial encounter scene, just thinking about what Lexa would feel and what would happen when it all goes by so quick. I have more written and plotted out, and I hope to update soon!

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 13, in which emotions are running high.

_ A glance.  _

 

"We should rest here for the night."

 

Anya, Lexa, Costia, and Costia's father Aster pushed through a well-worn path toward a small clearing. Trees hovered over every side with a small split in the middle, perfect for gazing up at the stars. Per usual for this time of the year, Lexa could make out some of her favorite constellations along with that strange, bright burst of light that didn't seem to be star nor planet. 

 

"What do you think it is?" Costa joined her, head tilted up and her arm swinging to lightly brush Lexa's. "I think it's a planet."

 

"It's too close to be a planet," Lexa observed. She remembered the hint of the other planet she'd seen once, the small red and purple orb Titus had called Venusa. This light was different, and not spherical and translucent the way planets seemed to be. 

 

"A really bright star? It's always in the sky. Even during the day."

 

"Maybe it's something else."

 

Lexa was aware of a different way of life long ago, what they call  _ Before.  _ Before the first Heda, so simply  _ Before.  _ They had artifacts stored and semblages of old buildings and architecture preserved. The elders and scholars studied them closely. But they didn't know what was up  _ there.  _ The fallen Hedas, she'd been told in her natblida training: watching from above to offer courage and guidance to the current Heda. No one ever said any more than that, except for the existence of other planets and stars like the sun that meant absolutely nothing to them and the life they led. 

 

But sometimes, Lexa wondered about it. She stood there with Costia, head still tilted up. They were standing close together, but not  _ too  _ close since both Anya and Hasta were nearby. They stole little moments together like this, traveling on official business and pretending to be friends when in reality their affection was so much more  and so much deeper . 

 

They had to be careful, though.  They had to be discreet. They had to steal whatever moments they could get.

 

"Lexa." Costia's voice was low, so that the others couldn't hear them. Lexa turned to her and felt herself smile as she grew lost in the girl's deep green gaze. It was soft yet fierce. It was as green as the forest with a tint of the teal from the sea.  It was beautiful.

 

They stood there together like that for a minute, their glances shifting from each other to the sky and then back again. Always back again to each other. 

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

  
  


**Chapter 13**

 

"Where is Clarke?"

 

Abby wouldn't call herself an impatient woman. As a doctor, she needed to adopt and practice a due amount of patience and understanding in order to help others and complete her work. She dealt with sick patients refusing to tell her what was wrong all of the time; she even dealt with healthy patients  _ hiding  _ the ways in which they felt sick, carefully poking and prodding until they admitted it and let her take care of them in the ways that they needed. 

 

But at the moment deep in the woods of Ice Nation in pursuit of her kidnapped daughter, Abby was the definition of impatient. 

 

She tilted the vial of poison toward the man's lips, watching the dark liquid pool at the top. She saw his eyes widen and then narrow, afraid yet committed to whatever cause he had pledged himself over to.  Her  foot tapped against the ground and her body shifted back-and-forth as she tipped the vial even further, moving her hand to grab at the back of his head. 

 

"Where is my daughter?"

 

The man smiled just then, the shift of his mouth muscles almost bumping into the vial and  almost causing Abby to spill it down his throat. 

 

_ Did he  _ want  _ to die? _

 

T hese people didn't care about themselves. That was easy enough for Abby to see. The Ice Nation spies and warriors were so brainwashed and trained that their individual lives meant nothing in comparison to the greater good of their kingdom. They believed so fully and so deeply in the mission of their Queen that nothing—not even their own lives—were important enough to distract them. 

 

What they needed was a psychologist,  probably .  Abby could see the telltale signs of psychological warfare on these people, on making them so dedicated and devoted to their cause that they knew no other way of life. Countries used it to their advantage during the wars  _ Before.  _ And apparently they even used it today and in this world of old and new.

 

Abby didn't know anyone from the Ark who even practiced that branch of psychiatric medicine and healing,  and nor did she have the time to go there. Tightening her grip on the vial and grabbing a nearby tree branch, she gritted her teeth and steeled herself for doing it the only way she knew how.

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

 

It was  _ her.  _

 

Costia had been expecting it. Indeed, Nia had made it clear enough Lexa was captured, being held nearby, and would eventually be dragged into headquarters for an intense round of questioning and torture. Costia knew this, and she'd braced herself for it, but she wasn't expecting it to happen so soon. And she wasn't expecting for Lexa to have _broken_ _free._

 

Costia had to give it to her. She knew Lexa was resourceful. When they were younger, Costia had seen Lexa squeeze her way out of some tough situations. There was the time they accidentally crossed into a neighboring tribe territory and were caught by the patrol, for example. The warriors had took them prisoner and bound their hands together, dragging them through the forest on the way to their camp. Just when Costia had thought they were done for and was praying to all the Commanders in the sky for the tribesman to spare their lives, Lexa did it—she slipped out of her bounds, grabbed Costia, and then jumped into the trees, easily outpacing their captors and making it home before dark.

 

She was incredible in that way. 

 

In even just the few moments Costia had seen her  now , she could see that Lexa was still fierce. Costia saw it in the way Lexa had eyed  her  and the tone in which she’d called out her name. Her voice exuded authority and demanded respect, as it always had.  If anything, it was even more sharp and impressive. 

 

But it was also fickle. Lexa was uncertain, unconvinced;  _ afraid.  _ That wasn't the Lexa Costia remembered. There were things that she actually  _ didn’t  _ remember,  Costia realized, for it'd been so long since she'd been with Lexa and since they'd had the time to be open and free with one another. It was so long since they’d worked side-by-side in Polis and around TriKru territory, running errands, completing drills, relaying messages, and stealing a moment or two together beneath the stars.

 

What had happened? What had taken Lexa so long? And why was she so surprised to see Costia?

 

It was too much. It was all too much for Costia at the moment. 

 

She quietly made her way back to her hut and then closed the door, pressing her body against  the back of it .  _ Are you ready to meet the reason why your Lexa never came to search for you?  _ Costia heard Nia's words  reverberate through her head.  She’d known what Nia was trying to do. Costia wasn’t stupid. She was quite clever, really, as an ambassador's daughter. Nia wanted to make Costia jealous because she wanted to  _ use  _ Costia in some way, as bait for Lexa, as revenge toward Lexa; possibly both.

 

What was Cosia to do? She didn’t know. Again, she didn’t think she’d actually  _ see  _ Lexa this soon, actually hear the disbelief and see the shock ablaze on her bloody, sweaty face.

 

She didn’t have to decide just now. Costia moved over to her bed, laying down on the thin fabric and curling her body around her equally-thin pillow. She had a little bit of time, and could wait just a little while longer.

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

 

  
  


"She hesitated."

 

Lexa was back, and she'd told Clarke what she had seen.  Clarke didn’t know what to think at the moment, if she were to be honest with herself. Lexa was out scouting and collecting more wood for their fire when she’d stomped dramatically back into their cave, eyes wide, hands shaking, and utter disbelief etched across her frail face. The affect in the cavern was real; Clarke felt the pangs of Lexa’s hurt and betrayal and something…  _ else.  _

 

"She's never hesitated before," Lexa continued. Clarke stoked the fire and the rabbit Lexa had caught for their dinner, listening and staring over at her . "I've known her for so long, and she's always come to me. She, she--" 

 

Clarke didn't want to be insensitive, but she had to ask. "Are you  _ sure  _ it was Costia?" 

 

Lexa had been through a terrible ordeal. Her grief still plagued her, Clarke knew, and she understood from experience what it was like to mourn for someone and see them at every turn. She'd seen Finn for days after his death; she didn't know left from right or real from fake. These things happen, especially following further types of trauma like a kidnapping.  Clarke didn’t want 

 

"Of course I'm sure it was her!" Lexa whipped her head up to glare over at Clarke. "Do you think I wouldn't be able to recognize her?" 

 

"I think this is a sore spot for you and you're not thinking straight," Clarke fired back. She didn't want to be insensitive, but she also didn't want to be chasticized. "What if that wasn't Costia? What if you just tipped off some random Azgeda girl that The Commander is here near their camp?" 

 

Lexa looked away just then.  Clarke knew that was because Lexa couldn’t argue with that.  But Clarke  still didn't feel satisfied. She felt scared that a patrol of guards would ambush them, angry that Lexa had been so careless, and overall just sad at what they were doing and how it had all come to this. 

 

And perhaps was she feeling  _ jealous?  _

 

"I understand," Clarke said softly,  shaking herself . She put down her twig and touched Lexa’s arm, giving in to her impulse to comfort the brunette. "It's hard. But we have to move now, in case that wasn't her and in case they come looking for us."

 

"But what if it  _ was  _ her?" Lexa turned to look over at Clarke. Her eyes were pooling and full of a deep sadness and desperation Clarke had never seen in her before. "What if she comes back for me and I already left?" 

 

It was an impossible question to respond to. Clarke felt Lexa's hurt wash over her. All she could do was lean forward to pat the girl's back, feeling Lexa's hand slip into hers as she let out a quiet sob.

* * *

**Author's note:**

Thank you so much for reading and I'm SO SORRY for the delay! Life has gotten crazy, but NaNoWriMo has given me some inspiration for continuing this story. Hope y'all are psyched for season 7 and the reveal of a prequel series!

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 14, in which Lexa loses just a little bit of her game.

_A mix._

“Are you putting soup in your wine?!” Clarke was staring wide-eyed as Lexa poured one bottle of liquid into another, stopping with a carefully-calculated drizzle.

 

“I am,” Lexa replied calmly, stirring the larger bottle in front of her with a wooden spoon and adding a few leaves of something into the mix. 

 

“May I ask why?”

 

Lexa found Clarke’s skepticism amusing. She glanced up to see Clarke still staring intently over at her, blue eyes sparkling in the dim lighting. She had a fiery intensity to her that Lexa admired. They’d only known each other for a few days that started off initially hostile, but already Lexa felt respect for Clarke. She didn’t always agree with her and  _ certainly  _ didn’t know what to expect from the blonde Sky girl, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t feel entertained by her.

 

“This is an old tradition of my people that I would like to share with you.”

 

“What tradition?”

 

“Mixing of the drinks.” Lexa poured the contents of her bottle into the pot over the fire, watching the steam rise and then shudder as she placed a lid over it. “It’s a celebratory tradition used to impress new allies. We take fermented berries and make them into wine, and then take stewed herbs and spices to heighten the taste over fire.”

 

“Isn’t that just mulled wine?” Lexa stared blankly at Clarke, who simply rolled her eyes and shrugged. “That’s fine. Uh, thanks.”

 

They shared their drinks in silence, Lexa peering over at Clarke as she tentatively sniffed the concoction before sipping it, murmuring appreciatively, and then draining the remainder of her cup in a few seconds.

 

“I take it that the taste suits you?” Lexa asked.

 

“Big time,” Clarke laughed, reaching over to help herself to more. “Maybe your crazy traditions aren’t so bad after all, Lexa.”

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

  
  


**Chapter 14**

 

They left at dusk.

 

Lexa didn’t want to leave, felt like part of her  _ couldn’t  _ leave. Those eyes followed her as she and Clarke packed up camp and put the fire out. The most delicate shade of green followed her as they set out to the forest, Lexa still with no shoes and no coat as she followed Clarke through the thick brush. 

 

She still couldn’t believe it had happened, and how  _ quickly  _ it all transpired. Costia. Lexa’s Costia. She’d seen her. There was no mistaking it. Lexa saw that face before she fell asleep at night for several years now, both in the flesh and in her dreams. 

 

The biggest question Lexa faced was: why was she with the Ice Nation? Why were they keeping her prisoner? They’d played their hand when Nia had sent Lexa what she thought was Costia’s head. That’d been enough to start a feud. Enough to change what stirred as a rebellion of Trikru vs. Azgada. Why keep Costia alive after all, and to what end? What was their intention, and what was Costia's role in all of it? 

 

Revenge. Blackmail. The list went on and on in Lexa’s head as she and Clarke moved forward into the wilderness. Lexa wasn’t even paying attention at this point. She didn’t know where they were going, and she didn’t even  _ care _ , if she were to be honest. 

 

“Do you hear that?” Clarke stopped suddenly, causing Lexa to tumble right into her. The two fell to the ground and into some fallen leaves and rocks, Lexa dazed and Clarke furious.

 

“What the hell are you doing, Lexa?”

 

“Sorry.” Lexa climbed off her quickly, extending her hand to help and feeling it slapped away as Clarke jumped up herself. She supposed she deserved that, crashing into her like she did.

 

“Lexa, you have to focus.” Clarke’s tone was firm but her eyes soft. Lexa looked over at her just then. “I know you’re upset right now, but I need you to snap out of it so we can get out of here.”

 

_ I need you…  _ Clarke had said those words to Lexa before. They were trapped in a steel box hiding from Pauna, Lexa’s sword keeping the beast at bay. Lexa's arm was torn and bleeding from a bad fall, which Clarke had supported her through at the risk of both of their lives.  _ “God forbid one of your generals becomes Commander. You may be heartless, Lexa, but at least you’re smart.” _

 

_ Was  _ Lexa heartless? She didn’t know anymore. She’d spent almost all of her time as Heda trying to prove that she was and that love was weakness. But now as she paced back and forth in the thicket trying to get a grip on herself, she didn’t see it. She wanted to, but she couldn't. 

 

“Lexa!” Clarke was back, pulling her arm and spinning Lexa around to face her. “For God’s sake! I said, did you  _ hear  _ that?”

 

There was a crunching noise around them, and it wasn't just the sounds Clarke and Lexa were making. It was a bit behind them and stopped as the silence grew. 

 

Lexa regained her focus at once. It was if a switch flicked in her system as she crouched down and hid behind a tree, checking in front of her before dashing away and signaling for Clarke to stay down. She crept closer to the source of the noise, looking at the trees, the ground, and everything in-between. Her feet were sourness as she closed the distance between herself and the nearby thicket. 

 

What she found on the other end, however, made her halt to a clumsy stop and almost sway right there on the spot. Looking up at her from behind a bush was none other than Costia herself. 

* * *

o - o - o - o - o - o

* * *

By the time Abby and the kids reached the cave the Azgada man had finally told them about, it was too late. They rushed in to see evidence of there having been activity along with a set of leather boots and a distinctive jacket that could only belong to one person. 

 

"This is Lexa's," Bellamy confirmed as he lifted it up, staring at her red tassel. "She was here. And by the looks of it, so we're a few other people."

 

There was a set of chains in the cave that had been broken open with a weapon. They were cracked as they laid on the ground.  _ Could Clarke have been here? _ Abby wondered, picking up the handcuffs and gazing around the stoned floor. 

 

_ Damn  _ that they were too late! Abby knew they'd been behind, but they rushed and traveled through the night in the hopes of finally catching up. Reinforcements from Arkadia could be there as soon as they proved it was Azgada, but would it be too late by then? What if Clarke was in pain and was suffering? What was Abby supposed to  _ do _ ?

 

"Over here!" Everyone looked up as Monty crouched around on the ground, looking at the leaves. "I see footsteps! Someone was here."

 

There was hope. Abby and crew saw evidence of a pair of footsteps rushing away in a certain direction. If Clarke were really here, then this was a good sign. It meant she escaped. It meant she could be okay. 

 

It also meant she very well could be with Lexa. Abby didn't know how she felt about that. She still didn't trust the Commander after the stunt she'd pulled at Mount Weather. And no one was more distrusting of her than  Clarke, who had threatened to slit her throat just a couple weeks ago. The two traveling together wouldn't be ideal, but Abby still clung on to hope. It was all she could ask for at this point. 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh, I am the worst and have not updated in such a looong time. Life gets busy and inspiration runs dry, but I've come back to this story because I love these characters and I want to see their story through!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I recently discovered this show and completely fell in love with the character of Lexa. I'm drawn to her complicated character and the way she guards herself off from even her own feelings. I also want to know WHAT she is thinking, for I never know looking at her face! I've read some truly beautiful fic on this site about Lexa and Clarke's relationship and wanted to share my own take on it.
> 
> Also, we will hear from Costia later in the story...but it's a slow burn getting there :) I just think it'd be interesting to see Lexa's past haunt her. 
> 
> I'd love to hear your thoughts, and thanks again for reading.


End file.
